Wednesday, August 26, 2009
hands up! @ 9:20 PM
ouh well. things been cocked up in life. whose fault?. mine?. yours?. she?. he?. we?. theirs?. hmm. nt sure bout dat.
been getting cranky all day long. hvnt had my slp hvnt had my slp. well, posting nt of sympathy bt upon pure boredom. just wan somebody to know hw shitty my life is witout your presence. mind wrecking, hurt buirsting for both parties. nt gone sae much but tis is for you. saperh mkn chilli terase pedas dohhh!. kae craps.
its nt totally ur fault darls. im nt fully blaming on u. parts and parcels of the heart shape in between of us is slowly fading. i wane save it to shine. but hw bout u?. u hv no strength to carry on?. well, hw bout me?. imi giving up?. ohh no. after those moments we hd in us, after the heavenly thoughts and laughter we hd these few mths, after the dwns we've gone thru, im so nt giving up. bt u... im nt sure. u missed ur old love life?. then hw bout me?. we're having the same feeling dear. by u saying ur at amk myting dat sumone, its so nt working out for me. i noe u dun hv the will to do so. u gt no strength to leave me in tears. n so do i. bt since ur tired, u hv to. im tired, i hv to push myself on leaving u to do things that u wanted like the past when u dun wane listen to me. im letting u think whts the best ways to keep u in calm. if by getting urself away frm me is the best way then i wun be the stupid wall blocking ur way.
me, in being in this condition is just because i just cant take anymore of ur words and promises. its like uve been giving me false happy hopes on u being a better a boify to me. by u saying all those words over at the plygrd that day to hv me back, do u really mean it?. were u putting up words and filling in the blanks to our conversation. first few days after the conversation it was so fine and i love it so much. its like we're in the past and i should say better than the past. but after days, boom!! there u go again. i cried my heart out to beg for mercy but u just cant hear me out. im still waiting for ur presence.
i dun like to be in this condition. i hate it. i feel sucky. but i choose this way cuz i dun wane be hepi wen ur nt. i dun wane be healthy wen ur nt. i dun wane love myself wen ur nt. everything in me is fine bt its neva complete. wen r u coming back?. will u still kiss me on my lips like hw u used to?. will u still hold me in my slp wen i whine?. will u still be there wen i neede u the most?. am i losing u slowly?. these questions been plying thru my mind for months n still wandering thru my blood.
well, times up or nw. wane post more bt i just cnt hold on to my tears for us. just wane let u noe why i post all this. its because u'll never listen to my heart. u'll never take my words. u're tired. i dun wish to spoil ur mood and add to ur frustration. im done here. well, no one's gona read. ive re-url. sory peeps. this is whr i let out evrything. even the closest person on earth wun understand my whining and pain. bt i do understand and take note on ur pain and torture dat ive given to u. im sorry. if only i could do the most precious thing on earth to make u hapy and alive again. but im sory i cnt. i just dun wane give in tis time. yes, im teh one whose plying egoistic dwn here.
imissyou and iloveyou so much dohh!.