candy canes dimwits,

Dear Vendetta, Say YES to pull the trigger.

2010-04-06T10:04:00.004+08:00

Dear whoever,
please bang me straight on my forehead. Headshot! Oke? Say YES to pull the trigger.

People just wont understand my inside out. Question is, do i understand them inside out? As far as im concern, i do and ive tried my very best to make it better than making it worse. Bt it seems like its not noticed bt things keep on happening. Tell me why pls? Is there a cross down there? Is it mine? Well, im talking bout rainbow skirts and sparkling blingbling heart-shaped. I just don't get it. Where do i go wrong and what have i done till we're this way. She said she missed the old us. Well, hello! What about me? Duhh!.

Things cant be the same anymore cuz surroundings and time change swity. In the past when i was doing graveyard shift you ~~had others to accompany you and entertain you~~. You're never alone. Thats the reason why you dont complain. But nw, you're all alone waiting for me to come back home. Guess you're not used to it hunn.

You're just about to experience true love and sacrifices jie.

Dont judge a long-last relatnshp by words. Feel it.

It doesnt look and turned out dat bad if things went right.

Things have to change cuz its the way of living and growing from time to time.

If everything reamins the same, there's no climax in the story.

It'll be damn flat.

Learn & live.

My tips i got from someone yaww. *winks*

Ive tried my best to be there for you everyday and a.s.a.p.

I slept at work so that i can stay awake longer and be by your side.

Which also means im awake for the nexy day at work. bahh!

Cant you even think for yourself?

Cant you even see all this happening right infront or ur eyes?

Lets see when you have a job later aye.

Dammit!. Wht am i saying. NoNo.

It did happened before. Same thing when you're working.

But did i complain?. NO!.

Cuz i understand you're workling.

But indeed other shit popped up when ur nicely having a job. Wth!.

Me sparing a tot for you? Duhh! Didnt you realise?.

I rush my work stuffs, rush my way back hm just to be wit u.

SO DO YOU REALISE NOW?!?

~~Punching bag?~~. I dont consider my lurve ones punching bag.

I rather have the original punching bag cuz when its hit, it doesnt come back at me.

Well, it does. It did and it chipped my tooth. Lol!

Back on track.

Bt human punching bag, nahh! Kinda stupid. Drop this part lh oke. Boring.

Whtever uve noted, ive noted too. So no worries, love.

Nope. Im so not like corpse bride. Its only you who felt we're the same.

Bt indeed i guess ur wrong. She can leave her job just to satisfy you.

Bt me, nahh. Im nt dat stupid to do so.

I have my point of view to make you learn n not just to satisfy you and get whtver u want

and in the end both of us suffer. Like u say. ~~POYOH YERH!~~ Wtf!.

Now you're talking. You "had enuf of all this fuss & fights".

Then, you're trying to say im enjoying it?.

Hmm. Lets see whether my statement below is correct.

1. As in nw, u tynk i hd enuf of u n i dun hv d favour in u and us anymore.
2. You tynk i will always search for ur fault n make us in bad terms.
3. when we're in bad terms, you will tynk dat i do it on

purpose and in the end we broke up.
4. So key point is, you're trying to say that im searching for a

reason for us to breakup and blame you for it.

Hmm. Kinda conscious to know yeahh. If its true...

Then, this is all cocky craps!. You told me you know me very well.

So?. I wouldnt have done that just to shoo you off hunn.

~~I can just flick you away out of my lyfe if i really want that to happen.~~

~~Cuz i dun fucking care when i really want that~~.

Wth!. Urgh!!.

Since the ferst tyme ive started this job, everything seems to be my fault.

Everything seemed to be blamed on me.

Im the one who changed. Im the one who doesnt spare my time for you.

Im the one who doesnt spare a tot for you.

~~Its me, me, me!.~~

Mama-"me"-a.. Here we go again. My my. Why cant i resist you.

Have a break! Have a kit-kat!.

Ouhh!! I need that! Haha. Wth!
I guess i criously need counselling.

Ouhhh. Talking bout counselling. I have a new name for a person. Hypocrist small kiddo. Yeahh. Dats it. I have my own reason, Vendetta. Excuse me.

I guess whats wrng wit us is that we keep on pushing things to each other. Yahh. I guess so. Whatever. Im tired. When you say you will never be ready for the rest of ur lyfe, somehow im still wondering. See now, you wanting me to go if we cntinue on issues and sins. Hmm. Nothing to say. We're in deep shit i know. Rocking rock-a-by-baby? Nahh. Im still standing strong to uphold our strength in us. I guess i need your help to do so switysucka!.
STAND UP AND MAKE IT WORK BETTER DUDE. NOT WHINING NOR PUSHING!. Well, dats what ive been doing since the start. That's how i get thru all ur shits till we're this FAR. Oke monyong?

Lastly, note-to-self.

You're latest post is becoming more typical and sound so like hypocrist small kiddo.

Im striking it. ~~intearsofsilent.blogspot.com (latest post)~~

WTH!

Hey there fadzillah,

I know times are getting hard.

But just believe me boy.

Someday i'll pay the bills with this guitar.

We'll have it good.

We'll have the life we knew we would.

My word is good.

teenage gerls gone wild.

2010-02-12T04:55:00.006+08:00

oke cn. here goes. photos speaks a thousand werds. bt mine.. pretty unsure. reason why?. pretends. false pretense. i dunno why i shud be in this state and why i hv to stick my butt in other's overturned life stories when mine is nt so okay. or shud i sae never be okay. tried my best to smile and let go of evrything bt hey hey hey!. NAHH!. i often advice others n help others out bt if it strikes me, im blank n im lost. lyke i sae.. someone just help me up or hit a biggie stone upon me!. pretty pls! oke cn. lastly!! WORK IS DAMN FUCKING FUN YET FUCKING TENSED. think bout it yeahh. i leave it to u guys to put it in any way. hahh!. BULLSHIT!. i wonder, i wonder. i wonder if im still a princess warrior. wahduhh!. jatuh boii..!.. LOL!

~~im sorry to hear wht uve been thru wit little girl.~~ u're just so dumb yet so ~~low~~ when ur in dat situation. haiya!. kinda dissapointed bt hey.. life lesson aye. im so thankful and greatful to him for making us up together. just wish for this world to stop hating and we cn make it thru. trust and faith is the way out. hope u will nvr forego things again as we dun wana end up lyke hw we used to the past few weeks. nahh ahh!. im your guardian angel and you're my sweetest cupcake happy pills!. keep on tuning for more and keep on holding a fist to hold shits beck. no i dun want to go back to yesterday. no i dont. ouhh please!. pretty please!. im so high n i wana shout my heart out hw deep n strong i love and need u every minute every second. wuahaha!. WOOHOOO!!!. i swear ur d best damn thing dat my eyes hv ever seen. for long, forever, please hold on to ur werds, temptations n promises. tis is the last time pathcing up will occur. love me like there's no tomorrow dear. ur everything to a princess warrior. YES YOU ARE!. cheers!

liitle girls just wanna hv fun. little girls wanna fit in the big girls crowd.
bt indeed they didnt know the outside world n they didnt realise that others are watching and big girls are observant enuf. most little girls wun noe whts the true meaning of lurve bt only happily-ever-after. so liitle girls are dumb to play with other ppl's feelings cuz they hv nt yet been thru full parts and parcels of wild things in life. everything now is about little girls. little girls here and little girls there. little girls just irks me when they act as if they noe wht they want in lyfe and who they really need.little girls hd extra gold medals in false pretense and crocodile tears to attract other's attention. n ouhh yahh!. LITTLE GIRLS JUST NEED EXTRA PARTNERS TO HV FUN AND MEET THEIR OWN HAPPY WILLS N SATISFACTION. one is never enuf. BIG GIRLS wun hv the wills n pleasure of doing these as they hv gone thru n seen lotsa things in the outside world. This is my prediction and practical research, LITTLE GIRLS ARE SUCH A SHAMELESS PAIN IN THE ASS WHO DONT REGARD THEIR PRIDE AS THEIR FIRST PRIORITY. So, little girls. lyke wht malays say, dun be so the "MACAM PAHAM". ur hurting tons of ppl with ur sympathy acts n crocodile tears. so yahh.. i cn be observant yet predictable bt nt too sure of the outcome. try people. come on n try observed little teenage girls. you'll be shocked to see!. ive seen tons of little girls fuckthubbed attitude hurting ppl here n dere. just so u know, never ever hv little girls as ur loved ones unless u noe wht ur doing and noe hw to. AYE??. last n for all, (little)girls just wana hv fun witout thinking n knowing of others wills n heartaches. MACAM NK KETOK KPALE KAO BDK KECIK!. LOL!.

IM DONE!. IM HAPPY. BT I JUST HOPE IM A MURDERER OR AN ASSASIN. JUST TO KILL THAT SPECIFIC LITTLE GERL. YEAHH TRUE!. shits written. kay. thx. bye.

swim swim lyke a dolphin.

2009-11-06T22:59:00.004+08:00

today was gerekgerek chillchill agogo yeah yeah!.
woke up ard idk wht tyme. hahh!.
nt feeling sucky nt feeling lonely.
hahh!. MY BAEBYLAPIS was right next to me.
cuddling me in my sleep. huhu!.
woke up and get ready for swimming like as planned.
not really according to as planned cuz it was supposed to be in the morning.
bt someone out there living in taman jurong was having stomachache and headache. hahh!
kecohh sajerh lahh. buat leceh. huhu!

swimming was great fun.
played stunts and ghost scenes wit trippers.
fun! fun! fun!.
i loike!.
sygg korang bnykbnyk lahh kann!.
lagyklagyk kpade baebylapis kush!. huhu!.

nw in lan updating post.
stupid lan wit no mmc reader. stupid!.
mangkok jekk!.
tot of posting pics as well.
bt urghh!. stupid apek wit stupid attitude.
some pics taken bt out of time to post.

so sowie sajerh lahh.

we'll edit this post soon aites.

ouh well..
toodles!

hapy as ever. maniac as in forever.

2009-11-06T22:26:00.003+08:00

hey hey ho ho!. as per normal, back for updates yaw.

yesterday was kinda a hit bt turn out bored in the end.

YESTERDAY;

It was a sucky feeling for a start of the day.

Felt lonely as soon as i woke up.

Well, u know why. Hmm.

Met my baeby spycam and eiratating then proceed to LAN.

Then met ~~"ex-baebylapis"~~ and shawneybob at court to get cranky.

Oh well, that was the plan of the day. get cranky.

My heart was beating so fast as soon as we get closer n closer to court.

I was like... "Ouh my gosh!. hw am i supposed to face her?. will i drop a tear?. will i be able to act as per normal?"

I tried my very best. Hahh!. Bt.. nahh.. forget it yaww.

Get those thingy and there it goes dwn my throat.

Cipacai-cipacai-pop-pop-pop-pop !

There they go making my head go boom boom pow!

Lol!. Those stupid thingy was so hell damn ~~MASAI!~~.

i didnt feel any kick at all u see!. dammit!.

things didnt go as planned. dammit!

Soon after, went to nti to pick up irahgiant's idk who lil kiddy frm school.

there she go trying to take care of me here and there cuz it was raining afterall.

SYIOKK!!. felt the "urghh! ouh-so-sweet" in us.

tears started to roll down my cheek as soon as she covered me frm the rain.

bt im nt sure if she realised it anot. hmm. beta not yeahh. hahh!.

flashback striked me. stupid!

rinathekental, keciqqefreakko, shawneybob, irahgiant & irakeneto.

all were tripping and were in our own world. hmm. gayreks!.

conversation held between us and solutions here and there starting to pop out.

talking, talking, talking. blab, blab, blab.

and.... jeng jeng jeng!!!

WE'RE BACK AS ONE!!!!. woohoo!!!!!...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

for you;

we're back as one. we're back as per normal.

i hope you're coming back for good.

i hope you meant every single word you spout out yesterday.

im scared. ohh yes! im still scared.

bt the confidence and trust i hv in u makes me hold on and wanting to love you more.

you're everything to me even if ur the worst smelliest trash ever.

you're sweetest and most bitter thing that ever happened to me.

i lurve you and i will always do.

i cant resist you.

you're the sex baeby.

im still waiting for your world to stop hating.

for you.

2009-11-05T14:44:00.008+08:00

romance days are over.
its me just me n myself n i.

things been messed up lately.

whose to blame?.

isit me, isit her, or isit time?.

ive been feeling lonely, cocked up and sadden thinking bout us.

those precious mmnts of our life.

those heartaches we shared.

those tears we wiped off together.

im tearing apart slowly.

damn slowly.

i know its hard for you and its never easy either for me.

for all i care, my lurve for you will always be infinty.

here's something for you;

ive read your post and ive been trying hard to hold up my tears.

i dun wane brag about it.

i dun wane whine about it.

i dun wane think bout it.

i know ive been trying too hard to get back at ya.

but as in now, i cant take it any longer.

hw i wish nuting lyke dis will happen.

but unfortunately, its already happened n we cant overdo it.

i miss us.

i really do.

if ever you feel lyke coming back...

if ever you feel lyke coming back i will open my arms widely for you.

nt to the new you bt of course to the old you.

i miss you.

i miss our lurve.

i want you to hold me tight and feel my heart thumping so fast.

thumping so fast that im scared to let you go.

but these words are so meaningless.

we're done so done.

bored wit thin moments.

2009-10-19T23:42:00.003+08:00

im bored with endless slacking days wit jobless mnths.

im tired wit nags and time wasting moments witout boify.

i really do.

birthday session with eka n fwens was an okeoke tingy.

didnt really blast me.

bt i do get tipsy.

whoa-ho!!.

a lil fun fun fun!.

boify was confessing everything to me.

she's lost.

saddened.

well baeby, i hv my own reasons why.

sometymes you dun understand bt one day u will. hmm.

i guess my november plans just wun work out.

haish!. sowie baebylapis!.

but i gues it will one fine day.

i will still make it happen for my baebylapis!. lol!

after confession, everything kinda went well.

bt there are still some errors here and there. hmm.

well, you cant expect a cat turn into a tiger in a split seconds ryte?.

i hv my biggest worry ryte nw.

sumhw i felt lyke im turning into someone who i myself dunno who i am.

ijust dun want myself to get too carried away by my cold attitude towards somebody.

i dun wane be a witch.

i wane be a princess warrior.

i still wane be a princess warrior.

goshh!. i dun wane lose someone's (whom i love sho much) attention and care by me being a witch.

i wanna wanna wanna wanna be a PRINCESS WARRIORRRR!...

only my baebyLAPIS cn help me. bt ermmm... i'll think bout it to talk bout it wit her.

cheerios!!.

ohh so irritating!

2009-10-19T23:25:00.003+08:00

oke oryte.

some people just dun understand and realise hw irritating n annoying they cn be when they start to act globey-world talker.

some people just dun understand and realise hw rude and in deep shit they cn be when they start to say this; "wansuay".

some people just dun understand and realise hw foolish they cn get to mess up wit somebody hu dusnt really entertain shits.

well, i myself dun understand them.

i myself dun understand their motive.

are they lack of attention or they're trying to tell others that

" im the one. i own the world. nobody cn drop me dwn. everyone must respect me".

are those points really matter to them?.

i just dun get it.

anyway, this is what happened.

a 15 year old fat kid tried her very best to be on top of people who are way much much more older than her.

she's trying her very fucking best to threaten them.

unfortunately, those people really think that she's making a fool out of herself.

in the end, people do really think she's just a baeby crying out for rotten breast milk.

serious. really. no joke. haha!

goshh!. she must be kidding me.

so youths. learn from this scene.

dun try so hard to be the best or should i say get so FANATIC and try threatening others when u know u urself are such a coward.

you guys just about to learn the outside and wild world.

so yahh, better nt aye.

im worried fo ur future and self-confidence. LOL!.

2009-10-13T01:12:00.003+08:00

okayh baybeh. back to blog.

damn thnks so much to fate that we're back as per normal.

talk things out and ermm...

lyke crybaby lahh.

too much things vroom vroom.... in my head.

damn sucky lahh yesterday. cut it short lahh kan.

well, yesterday went to watch seroja at bb.

average performance but buntal was cute. haha!

wonder hw i luk lyke wen i was in her shoes last time. haha!

kecohh dohh!

bt thrilling part was when the guy gt the wrng thing in hys body.

lauhed lyke ponti ponti. fuhh!.

thrilling wrabak!

ternae segale gale bulu bulu yg aderh.

gt a job lahh sey bt!

bt too bad starts in dec.

buat maserh ny mkn pasir sajerh lahh sayerh. haha!!.

DAMN FUCKING HEPY! i dont know why. hees!

I LOVE YOU SHO MUCH KANINA!

*pijakpijak gigi kamuh!. hehe!.*

plain life shits,

2009-10-11T01:05:00.002+08:00

hey fucktards!.

blogger blogging signing in to blog blog blog.

thngs were alot haywire n cocked up.

can someone help me up?.

im drowning like a fat man wit a big hairy belly trying to stand up.

ive been wishing to live like a pony.

can it happen?. im so wishing for it.

i wouldnt say life sucks cause life make me realise rights and wrongs.

of course, ups n dwns will always happen.

its like for a moment ur a princess and the next ur a trashbag. right?.

well, i think so too.

if i say life sucks it wud be back on me cuz im the one hu choose my life to be sucky. haha.

hmm....

too many things caught up my mind for nw.

bt hey, no werries.

i wun kill myself.

but just a tot of it. urmm... killing myself.

well, all i need is peace and food. no quiet.

things coming round and round and round again.

be it family, boify, work n everything.

turns out evrything is the same.

now i nyd a huge kitkat,

letting off my fylings here wun do any difference.

this just apiece of shit whrby ppl read n entertain themselves for few minutes.

bt den, cn they help?. ohh hell yeahh!. fuckoofff!.

im on my own.

i shout out loud at the tip of my lung.

cn u hear me?.

im venting out my anger till my eyeballs popped out.

can you see me?.

keeping tings in my heart for so long.

being patient for so long,

all i get is ttttiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuKABUSHHHH........ SHITSS!

trying very hard to get an A for life endurance.

but seems getting further n further.

was it me?.

was it her?.

i dont know what to do.

i dont know what i should do.

too many tings popped in my mind in a split second fuck!.

no more tears for me but for you.

no more me n u than together.

no more happy than overexcited.

i duno wht im saying but all i know.

im d most homewrecked girl of the month.

i miss everything from lastyear.

EVERYTHING!!.

HW I COULD TURN BACK TIME.

hw i could bring my younger siblings to watch their future life if they continue wit their stupid life.

hw could i turn my family into the best palace ive ever stepped in.

hw could i be the one who gets peace, joy and accessibility.

just that.

too much yet too little strength and hope.

2009-08-27T17:11:00.000+08:00

STUPID LAN!.
USELESS LAN!.
BUSHUKK LAN!.

im hepy for ur presence n company for d nyte!.
im hepy for ur here wit me to gif me the tightest hug dat i ever wanted!.
im hepy for the warmest lips tocuhed on mine!.
im hepy for everything.
im pissed wit tis LAN!.

shits written. kay. thx. bye.
iloveyou and i still missing you!.

hands up!

2009-08-26T21:20:00.000+08:00

okay orite. comp breakdown at homiee. so nw in a plc whr there's web connection to do this shit.
ouh well. things been cocked up in life. whose fault?. mine?. yours?. she?. he?. we?. theirs?. hmm. nt sure bout dat.

been getting cranky all day long. hvnt had my slp hvnt had my slp. well, posting nt of sympathy bt upon pure boredom. just wan somebody to know hw shitty my life is witout your presence. mind wrecking, hurt buirsting for both parties. nt gone sae much but tis is for you. saperh mkn chilli terase pedas dohhh!. kae craps.

its nt totally ur fault darls. im nt fully blaming on u. parts and parcels of the heart shape in between of us is slowly fading. i wane save it to shine. but hw bout u?. u hv no strength to carry on?. well, hw bout me?. imi giving up?. ohh no. after those moments we hd in us, after the heavenly thoughts and laughter we hd these few mths, after the dwns we've gone thru, im so nt giving up. bt u... im nt sure. u missed ur old love life?. then hw bout me?. we're having the same feeling dear. by u saying ur at amk myting dat sumone, its so nt working out for me. i noe u dun hv the will to do so. u gt no strength to leave me in tears. n so do i. bt since ur tired, u hv to. im tired, i hv to push myself on leaving u to do things that u wanted like the past when u dun wane listen to me. im letting u think whts the best ways to keep u in calm. if by getting urself away frm me is the best way then i wun be the stupid wall blocking ur way.

me, in being in this condition is just because i just cant take anymore of ur words and promises. its like uve been giving me false happy hopes on u being a better a boify to me. by u saying all those words over at the plygrd that day to hv me back, do u really mean it?. were u putting up words and filling in the blanks to our conversation. first few days after the conversation it was so fine and i love it so much. its like we're in the past and i should say better than the past. but after days, boom!! there u go again. i cried my heart out to beg for mercy but u just cant hear me out. im still waiting for ur presence.

i dun like to be in this condition. i hate it. i feel sucky. but i choose this way cuz i dun wane be hepi wen ur nt. i dun wane be healthy wen ur nt. i dun wane love myself wen ur nt. everything in me is fine bt its neva complete. wen r u coming back?. will u still kiss me on my lips like hw u used to?. will u still hold me in my slp wen i whine?. will u still be there wen i neede u the most?. am i losing u slowly?. these questions been plying thru my mind for months n still wandering thru my blood.

well, times up or nw. wane post more bt i just cnt hold on to my tears for us. just wane let u noe why i post all this. its because u'll never listen to my heart. u'll never take my words. u're tired. i dun wish to spoil ur mood and add to ur frustration. im done here. well, no one's gona read. ive re-url. sory peeps. this is whr i let out evrything. even the closest person on earth wun understand my whining and pain. bt i do understand and take note on ur pain and torture dat ive given to u. im sorry. if only i could do the most precious thing on earth to make u hapy and alive again. but im sory i cnt. i just dun wane give in tis time. yes, im teh one whose plying egoistic dwn here.

imissyou and iloveyou so much dohh!.

im useless. trying hard.

2009-08-10T00:34:00.006+08:00

i dont like to be alone in the night.

i dont like to be at wrong when im right.
and i dont like to have the rain in my shoes.
but i do, i do love you.

* for you in my lonely night. sobs!

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY TO IDIOTIC SPOREANS.

stay at home for the whole day thinking, wandering, rotting, layzee-ing and mostly waiting. worried bout some issues but nahh...
dun wane bug about it.
might bring me back migraines and frustration.
well, if you kaypoh people styl wane know bout the issues,
you can call me up at 1800-i- dont-give-a-shit.
booyahhh!!.....
okay shits.

sucky feelings, shaky thoughts just make me whine loudly alone in the dark.
when is this gona end?.
when can i get my happy ending?.
well, a proper one i might say.
a happy ending with someone whom i love so muchh and dont wish to lose.
cant bear to lose.
cant bear to see or roll down any tears on mine or his cheek.
tell me when!.
ouhh please someone help me up.
im scared i might lose my dependant.
im scared my heart will return to me once again after its been stolen.
haish!.

so here i am typing out hw i fyl and wht's on my mind.
im nt hoping for pretty ponies and glittering rainbows.
its reality not fantasy.
bt i do prefer fantasy though. hehh!.

im nt letting time decide.
i'll hold myself up from worrying
(even if i cant i can afford on faking or tying my hand up on my bed frame)
and let him decide and think on his action.
you gota know wht's happening and who's at fault yaww.
i wane stop being the "okay im sorry alright.
come, i'll brush ur hair and put you to sleep"
when im nt at fault!.
i wane stop.
its time for you to think and refresh or reload.
blueghh!.
dats it.
i wane get going.
lie on my bed, shake my legs till they drop.
toodles~!.

stupidity of mine makes hym sick.

2009-07-31T01:38:00.002+08:00

i wish i wish upon the star.
i wish to be a star like avril lavigne.
arghh! mrepek!.
haha!.
pure boredom.

well hello to blogger.com.
im bored and partly sad, partly hapy and partly glad.

SAD
over what hpned to us. i just dont wish to talk about us. just dont wish to wander about our condition. we're nt shaky, never shaky but just traumatised. traumatised upon hurt n pain. im sad n down seeing you self mental torturing. im nt strng to see you fly like a bird. u said u rather hurt urself than hurt me. bt did you know?. did you know that when ur hurt, im hurt too. did you know when u toxicate urself i just feel lyke toxicating myself too. im trying. stop she said. stop being a pest in boify's eyes. im pressing alphabets to make up words that dusnt even link. i know. bottomline is im sad over us. im waiting for the world to stop hating. jyeahh dats it.

HAPPY
happy for we myt up today. happy to see ur smile. happy to be in ur arms. fucking happy when u stare in my eyes and say "i miss you so much". bottomline, im happy to have u wit me n in me.

GLAD
glad. ermm... glad we're trying hard to find the way out i guess. im out of words.

dats it. blog some other tyme. cnt hold on to waterfall. dammit!. love you all. love my fans. fake cheer up lahh kn. somebody help me bring a clown?!. fucking please yeahh. thx.

shits written. kay. thx. bye.

a very long yet not so random post.

2009-07-29T23:33:00.003+08:00

okay alright. so its been long since i blogged. busy with somethings and layzee with typing. hehh!.

22nd July 2009, Sunday

okayh. on this collage is the fake nonsense powerpuff kaninas. ahaha!. my cheebye sister just came back from work. then, we decided to camwhore. upon swity request lahh kan. its been so long sinced we camwhore. haha!. i know its damn fucking horrible but funny. we enjoy it alot. and then, daddy yan from Kromo Pawiro called. Talk and talk and blablabla, were told to come down and chilled. on our way, this is what happened. lol!. i loike!.

CAMWHORRRREEEEEEEEE AGAIN!!.and so its also the most important day of the month for me and swity. hehh!. its our eight mth. winks!. its been a pleasure to have u in me even if it takes me to kill the most evil monster in the world. with you around really makes my world go wild and complete. iloveyou more than myslef. imissyou more than i miss my long hair. i really do. hmm. expecting for more n hoping for the wonderous times in future. once again, hapy eight month-sary to you. iloveyou SWITYSUCKA!.

21st July 2009, Sunday

cool enuff jyeahh. pics wit the kental, freakko, giant and bulat. well, as you can see the complicated partners. ira n bob. damn fucking complicated. you guys need to wake up and know what you guys really want and need wokayh!. hahh!. freaking freaks!. under 437 void deck sajerh lahh. upon pure boredom, we started to be the clique citizens of 437. haha!. one of the shot whereby we stand on different pillars, swity tapped my face so hard till we snapped wit me holding my eye and stupigg fucker shawney pushed me from the back before we snapped. damn funny!. hahh!. wokay next!!. teehee!.

19th July 2009, Sunday

this is a collage pic with half of my family and nt to forget darling switysucka. hahh!. went to malay heritage center or whatever in arab street i guess. but then unfortunately, everything had ended. pity my daddy. he was the one hu really wants to go there. well, went to eat. the centre picture is what me n swity had. it was fine but the first one taste lyke rubber. hahh!. well huni, i hope u had alot of fun with fam. its nice and swit to hv u there with us. and ouh!!. they hd durians!. i fuckingly sat inside my room. ditch those durians!. merely had a heavy asthma. dammit!. gone kill u darla!. u squeash the cheebye no-good-taste thingy on my face. haha!.

just nothing.

2009-07-15T23:39:00.002+08:00

its nice to get to know the truth even if it hurts.
its great to get to know ur effort in us.
its wonderful to hv u styl standing n trying to get right beck up even wen ur dwn.
hwever, its shaky to noe ur verge-ful thoughts.
i wish u cud take beck ur werds n be strong lyke a tigress.
i wish, i wish, i wish.

hey ho!.
just gt beck hm frm tuas.
send off sister's dinner over at her workplc.
well, met swity at macdonalds just nw.
saw that someone who really irks me.
goshh!. felt lyke pulling her teeth out.
damn u!.

nw styl waeting for swity to cum beck hm.
lbt nye kamuu.
hugsnkisses for me pweety pleashh.
wuuhhuuu!!.

well, tmr will be d start of my workaholic days.
darn!. sure i am a layzee layzee piggy!.
wish to be paid for sitting at hm n shaking legs.
best kaperr!!.
ouhh....okayyy.... dream on. hahh!.

so dats it.
im off.
toodless!!.
im plain and simple.
bt meaningful n shining wit you.

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. jyeahh i do.

2009-07-15T13:32:00.005+08:00

well, afternoon fucktards n sucky dimwits out dere!.
freshly woke up lahh kann. teehee!.

oke orite.
yesterday was a BLAST.
only after work. huhu!.
bathing session wit swity and deary fucker lil sis
was effing fun n funny.
the water hose was moving by itself. haha!.
we had fake anaconda hunting fiercely for victims.
fortunately, it didnt harm anyone
and the three heroins managed to turn the evil down.
and so im announcing, the city is safe.
thanks to theee......... POWERPUFF KANINASS.

ahahaha!. pure boredom. really.
bt cool isnt it.
swity is at work ryte nw.
well, im waeting for the ryte tyme to go out n get some things at apek tauke's property.
mishing swity already.
n ouhh!.
after yesterday,
i felt the hothotheat between us came knocking my dug-dug dug-dug.
heart lahh stupigg. kwang3!
i felt like old times is shining through again.
weehooo!!!.
lurve u lahh switySUCKA.
so ur the man.
so ur the love of the anthem.
hehe!. cocky cock pe aku!.
tkpe. yg penting aku sukerh wrabak.
aku ckp sukerh bogel uhh
arhh mrepek!
tuutt!

fuckingly fuck extremely hepi sajer lahh today.
gugugaga!. wuahahaha!.

to angietheGENERALMANAGER.
im sorry i broke those cappucinocups lahh fuck.

to waynebensontheBOSS.
get the stupid cowboy door out lahh fuckk.
its fucking irritating.
we'll see whose the first one to get a bleeding nose by swinging doors coming through.
to aaronTHEASSISTANTMANAGER.
ur opening sucks.
u made my life go haywire wit ur opening.
ur brain's full of shit to come up wit 'provide table service'.
bt overall ur okay lahh fuckk.

to jasmineTHEONLY SERVICESTAFF other than me.
keep on the good work.
ur wrecking the store dimwits!.
go find something else to do wen ur free lah fuckk.

to din,khalaf,sarhan&hasifTHEKITCHENSTAFF.
you guys rock lahh dumbass.
do closing faster lahh fuckk!.

to fadTHEKECIQQEFREAKKOmybaeby(:
iloveyou lahh baybehh!.
dun skip and waste ur staff meal lahh dengs.
ur always on the ball. goooood!.
(i cant use vulgarities on boify lahh fuckk. dats rude. *lol*)

SHITS WRITTEN.kay. thx. bye.

stupid jokes pops stupid thoughts.

2009-07-13T11:54:00.008+08:00

hey ho ~~fucktards~~!.
been awhile jyeahh.
been busy wit graveyard shifts n lala lands. teehee!.
its been a few weeks since i wanted to update bt...
hell im fucking layyzeeee like piggy.

well, newly woke up n swity wasnt dere.
im waiting patiently for her to come back.
where the fuck have u been lahh seyy?!?.

okay look, some confessions i wane make.
baeby, hell i know ur joking!.
bt ouhh please!. i dun wish you to bring up ~~my past~~.
i just dun like it n i know u dun like it too.
i didnt mean to blurt out ~~past n present~~.
it meant totally no harm.

ive read ur post.
i know we've been going through violent fights n its hectic.
bt hey baebylurve!.
feelings n thoughts towards you will always be the same aite!.
this i promise n swear to you!.

i might be diff towards you these days,
you might nt know who i am n rather be alone,
bt just want you to know,
we're both working and we dont get to spend our time like we used to.
we're both tired n u know when im tired,
i'll get pissed or irritated easily ryte hunn?.
its nt ur fault for im diff.
its myself.
its my stupidity n selfishness.

bt baeby..
all im asking for is for you to bring back my swit n pamper-self baebylurve.
~~bt when im rude to you, you flick my ears n twist my ears.~~ ~~i dun wish n hope for that.~~ i dun wish for violence bt just a raise of voice n enlarged eyes in silence.
we'll be back as per normal. FOR SURE.
reasons why?.
* we've never been violent so often to each other in the past.
* you're always smiling, kissing n cuddling me.
* you're a second-alert and obey my words.
* you know what to do with me when i need you.

goshh! hell fucking jyeahh i mish our old times.
things do change alot between us.
especially when we're already busy working.
ive been thinking of changing to part time.
so that we cn spend more time together n be like the past.
i wishh!.
i mishh you so muchh!.
i mishh you pampering n laugh your heart out sincerely with me.
stop faking already lahh fuckk!.
talk to me like you did when we're high.
please baebyy!.
i dun wish to see you out.
i dun wish to lay by myself.
let's re-construct.

where are you?.
i didnt mean to hurt you even a teeny weeny bit.
bt its just that im sleeping baeby.
and no ones by your side to be with you when ur nt asleep.
n i dun favour it when u whine for something
and you dun wish to say it out.
i want you to get to sleep.
i want you to get your rest.
goshh!.
how i wishh i could turn back time.
im fuckingly sorry.
yes i do!. i really do!.
come back swity!.

gerls are so sickk.

2009-06-12T14:47:00.004+08:00

been awhile yaw.
okay go!. dun wane drag time n space.

here's to u gerls.
somebody dwn here wit me ~~doesnt deserve how u guys treated her~~.
she deserves the best from a guy. be it HAIKEL, SYUKRI or even ~~the president~~.
but hey, u guys are just so ill-hearted n jealous for hu she is n for hu she got.
dun blame her. blame the guys. she dont really go to those guys n beg for mercy n chance to get in contact with.
so jyeahh!.
my suggestion:-
- go ahead n bitch about dhis laydee dwntwn n there she goes flying upon u getting higher.
- go ahead n be jealous with HAIKEL cuz i wane know more.
- get in touch with her and ask her wads going on. (be updated)
- i might be sarcarstic or pathetic. but hey, ITS EFFING FUCKING TRUE!.
let me know when u gerls had enuf and cannt tasyan oreadi. oke?. can?.

. most FEMININE GERLS .
- i dont really make frens with them due to;
:: irrits jukebox which will never stop.
:: jealousy to another party upon her belongings, fashion and styles.
:: always get caught up with love and drag about issues.
:: attention seekers when cute boys cam across.
:: flaps their hair before starting a conversation.
:: doesnt admit of being a bitch when they are. ( hell yeahh im a bitch!. and my gf loves it.)
:: loves pinky ponies with diamond rings.
:: will never stay long when another cute boy appear. TRUST ME!.
- they will try their very best to control themselves.

. most VERSATILE GERLS .
:: JUST DONT CARE UPON ANYTHING.
:: will always say FUCK THAT SHIT.

well, enough said bout gerls.
life's been busy with work, fake horse fantasy n boify.
weehuhuu!.
will update soon bout rltnshp.
too many ppl. shyshy lahh. teehee!.

dadarr!.
shits written. kay. thx. bye.

stupid pain. sucky feeling.

2009-05-18T13:34:00.004+08:00

didnt turn up for work today.
fucking gastric holding me back.
dammit!.
do u favour halfway-went-back-home journey?.
well, i fuckingly hate it.

call 1800-i-dont-give-a-fuck-0041 for answers.

well, i hate it so much but i hav to.
its aching so muchh dat i have to squat under the void deck.
goshh!.

hmm. bby went for an interview n she's starting immediately today.
urgh!. why must you not be there when i need u the most?.
but its okie.
atleast its a good thing u got a new job.
nahh!. i can wait for u to be back. *winks*

kay dats it. thought of changing my skin but.....
well as per normal.
i dun give a damn.
im lazy.
stomache feels damn sucky!!.
damn painful like knnbccb!.

shits wriiten. kay. thx .bye.

moody asswipe!

2009-05-15T22:34:00.002+08:00

just got back home.

hmm. just wane say this.
im moody today.
i dunno why.
maybe its because i got too caught up wit boify mistake mseging her.
but i just cant help it.
the jealous-ity i had were all over me.
how i hope u will never ever contact with her.
just a wishful thought. cn?
hmmm. haisz.
i dun wane say it out cuz i noe she dun like it.
enough said bout them.
they're over.
bt i still dun favour u to contact her. cn?.
i tried my best to get it out of my mind bt knnbccb!. i cant!.
i dun wane hurt her feelings n quarrel all over n over again bout the same tingy.
bt in the end, my heart was thumping like assfuck.
frustration struck through my veins.
urgh!. fuck it lahh.
am i too sensitive or sentimental?.
nak sensodyne? wuaahhaha!.
im a hopeless n useless gf.

aku sygg kau byk2 lahh begok!.
aku takot kehilangan kau.
sebab tu aku tak suke n aku tknk.
tap........... haisz!.
its okie. i'll stop here.
too random.

i miss ur smile.

wonder stars than black hole.

2009-05-15T22:04:00.004+08:00

expecting the unexpected.
like i said before, either party will feel ~~left out~~ upon busy-ness.
but hey!. sacrifice n endurance are just the things that u need for a better life.
am i right to say this?.
u tell me. let me know.

my days are in the ~~worst climate~~ ever.
it will never stay at the highest point for quite some time.
not just about 'twin pack' but work and stuffs.
im so worn out.

we know somehow "she"'ll feel neglected n bored.
bt "she" gota be strong n understand.
yes "she" missed those times bt its nt only "she".
even "her" missed those times together.
those laughter, sweet moments, retard actions of the "twin pack".
cant "she" see that "her" was trying her fucking best to make "she" happy?.
cant "she" see that "her" was trying to be there for "she" even if "her" was damn fucking worn out?.
cant "she" see that "her" was trying her best to make "she" go on positive thinking?.
"she" was ~~nt to be blamed~~ cuz "her" lurve "she" way too much n "her" chose it that way.
things might be different bt the feelings that "her" had for "she" will always be the same.
~~dun let the past come in a circle for "she" due to neglection n negative-stupid-drifting apart scene.~~
its ~~painful n hurtful~~ n im sure most of the ppl out dere experienced like hw "she" did.
i hope "she" realise the stars shining in the "twin pack's" lurve story.
n nt a black hole that is enlarging between them.

im scared.
im worried.
i felt insecure.
honesty decreased.
this i swear.

no shits. serious shits. kay. thx. bye.

pure boredom.

2009-05-07T02:30:00.003+08:00

getting ~~cranky~~.

living life like HELL.

damn i miss my nonsensical thoughts.

pure boredom strikes.

im swaying time to time.

someone help me up.

im a shitty arsehole.

~~IM ON DRUGS~~!

wahhh cb ahhh!!..

kotak! kotak! kotak!.

pants on fire.

2009-05-06T14:53:00.004+08:00

she's nt a ~~fool~~.
ur taking things for granted.
she needs u.
cant u see?.
she trust u.
cant u make her be at ease.
ur ~~ridiculous~~.

god dammit!.
fire, fire pants on fire.
wth!. ur a big fat liar.
shits written. kay. thx. bye.

pure boredom. wishful thoughts.

2009-04-29T22:50:00.002+08:00

i wane go to lala land.
daydreaming all day long.
scribbling and doodling my will.
kissing pony's butt for pleasure.
shaving crocs hair for fame.
im saying bubye im so lame.

arggghhh!. aku merepek.
mendak lahh kan.
imy swity!.
i want everything in this world. can?.

call 1800-fuck-urself-dude-0041 for answers.
p/s: ~~41 cents per min.~~
shits written. kay. thx. bye.

pure boredom.

2009-04-28T20:56:00.004+08:00

god damn bloody bastard.
im worn out.
work, work n just work.
one more time.
just work n work n work.
sounds nicer.
well, bloody bastard im happy wit wad i hav right nw.
i let ~~negative~~ feelings n thots behind. (FAKE!)
ahahahaha!. okay alright. im crapping.

i feel so relaxed n comfy wit my surroundings.
even wit shits left behind n dangling.
but hey!. aint gt time to think bout it you see.
if it pops out, i'll be like 99.9% " oh ok. let it be lahh."
teehee. too tired to tink of ~~unhappy n sucky moments.~~
living my life on ballons n glittering ponies in fantasies.
im so gona cut my hair!.
dammit!.
u suckers out there come kiss my butt!.
its been so long.
wuahahahaha!. pure boredeom.

shits written. kay. thx. bye.

im doomed!.

2009-04-19T23:32:00.003+08:00

boo hoo!!.

well, im controlled by parents.

reason?. i myself nt sure.

i was told dat im getting haywire n wilder these days.

bt hey!. im much much more worse then nw in the past.

goshh!. i dun understand them.

shits happened these days wit family ties.

i'm sorry deary ur involved.

well, gt a job as a quality control officer. alhamdulillah!.

d bad news is, gt lil time to spend wit bby.

am sori huni bt i hope u understand n cn bear wit it.

bt no matter wad please n pretty please dun come to me n say u feel neglected.

even if u feel dat way it's nt due to faded feelings bt its just dat im tired n im CONTROLLED.

hope u understand. bahh!.

well im off for nw.

waiting for deary to get hm den im off to slp.

gota get up to work early in d morn.

toodles~!.

shits written. kay. thx. bye.

plain words through plain heart.

2009-04-15T01:37:00.003+08:00

so am i still waiting for this world to stop hating.

cant find a good reason, cant find hope to believe in.

drop dead gorgeous, im still loving u.

hopeless thoughts running through my mind.

eerie feelings running through my blood.

days are getting longer, life's getting shorter.

i cant wait for the most happiest day of my life.

when?. i myself nt sure. hahh!.

as day pass by, im getting fuckthubbed sitting at hm.

wit noise core by radiohead n screeches on the wall.

love anthem ushered by that someone will only bring me smile for now.

bt will it last long?. i hope so.

tmr or shud i say this morning will be gg for an interview.

hoping to get teh job even if its sucky.

i really need ka-ching!.

well, that's it for my lame n pathetic post for now.

buzz off to my fantasy world of hopeless dreams.

nahh!.. just plain words.

i dun understand my life. goshh!.

shits written. kay. thx. bye.

randomness.

2009-04-13T15:40:00.006+08:00

time pass real slow for me.
trying my best to lead my days wit smiles n fake hopes.
bits of broken hearted n memories of us haunt me evry single sec n evry breath i take.
i still cnt accept d fact dat we're done.
ur leading ur life like the way u want it.
im leading my life letting it go wit time.
getting ~~high n cranky~~ is just not wat i like bt i choose to.
i hav to.
dats d only way to bring my life up n nt dwell on us even for a split sec.
i just adore u so much.
i nyd u so much.
y cant u just understand dat?.
it seems like we're tearing apart n getting further away frm each other.
im scared.
im still scared of losing u for the rest of my life even after we're done.
bt dere's nuting i cn do.
i just cnt force u to be mine. so not!
endurance is wd i nyd.
~~fling?~~. i dun adore dat.
it just hurts me so much wen ive oreadi love u n made u mine.
bt u wan it badly n ur doing it.
company is all i ever wanted.
i feel so lonely.
i feel so hopeless.
please dnt go.
i'll do anything to make u hapi even if it takes me centuries to fake.
iloveyou. im missing u.
come back. im waiting.
im holding on.
fuck that shit!.
im a heartbreaker.

2009-04-13T04:36:00.003+08:00

heavily toxicated nowadays.
no life kiddo.
im ~~fine~~ everybody.
faking sumhow to be hepi.
damn worried inside.
pure boredom strikes.
nt much to type cuz nt much happened.
blabbing on d fone wit bby.
nt much to talk.
miszing her badly.
feeling so sucky.

im lazy to post.
cuz im thinking of goalpost.
arggghhhh!!!...MEREPEK!!..
lame n pathetic rite?. yahh i know.
bye peeps!.

really damnly shits written. kay. thx. bye.

sucky i am. still hopeless.

2009-03-30T00:13:00.003+08:00

im sorry if i overreacted today.

i just cant help it.

it hurts real deep down in me.

yes i know u met her wit no stupid motive.

bt hey!. upon so many days, y must it be today?.

aint it unreasonable?.

i trusted u bt her.. goshh!. she erks me so much.

for goodness sake, i just dun like it.

y cant u understand dat?.

isit hard for u to go as far away as possible from her?.

isit so difficult for us to be in peace without her ard us?.

im shedding tears n broken into pieces seeing us getting in dis situaion evry now n den.

i had enuf. im tired n im scared.

u blurt a question cn u hav ur own life?

wad does it suppose to mean?.

if u dun prefer to spend most of ur time wit me den by all means tell me.

i dun mind.

yes, we spend almost everyday together bt do we spend like other couples do?.

NO!. we seldom did. n u noe dat too.

n for gdness sake, talk to me more. get use to it.

dun keep anything from me.

i want u to know n feel dat u can depend on me in any way.

i hate it so much wen ur in doubt n ur doing everything alone.

wad a gf for?.

keep me in a box with full of flowers n glitter whereas ur broken huh?.

so nt my lurve story aite.

wen im hepi u shud be too.

wen ur at d edge of mount everest falling, i shud be too.

dats true lurve rite?.

baby please. for d last time im saying. stop evrything between u n dol.

i dun wan any conflicts bout her nimore.

ouhh please!.

things were so great these few days bt everytime wen ur back at mama's crib,

we go haywire.

i just lurve u way too much dat i hate u to be in contact with ur ex-es especially her.

ur nt useless bt just short-winded.

im hoping for the most wonderous lurve life in history wit u bby.

just wit u n only u deary.

act wisely?. sure do.

mean ur words like u suppose to?. okay cn.

put urself in my shoes and feel hw i feel?. my pleasure.

rina stupidity n hopeless bitch?. i am for nw.

ouhh im feeling so sucky and suffocating sitting at hm.

i'll just get out of d hse, go sumwhr n ease my mind off.

i wonder wad ur doing right nw bt im sorry bby.

ibu just cant mseg u to ask cuz i dun hav d will n heart to.

it'll just hurt me too much n worsen up my condition rite nw.

i hope u sleep soundly n hav a peace of mind. insyallah.

once again, im sorry.

im done. so done.

bahh!!!..

shits written.kay.thx.bye.

2009-03-24T16:18:00.002+08:00

up to post. - as usual bt nt always.
bored. - always. used to it. so, its okay.
waiting for gf to wakey. - impatient.
just finished d household chores. - fucking relieved.
smoking. - past time.

well, tis is wad i did for d day till now. bored as usual. well, i guess i'll reconstruct my blog since i aint gt nuting to do. might chnge my blogskin, my tagboard, my links cuz some of them r inactive though. cb!. might also put in songs. yahh, bt nt sure yet. see if i hav d mood to. ahahahaha!.

well, nt much tings to do today. just looking forward on meeting gf and chill ard sumwhr. tis is life jyeahh. just hoping for one fine day whereby i can really get d meaning of me living in tis world. true meaning perhaps. bahh!!.. im out for now. wane find d skins and taggy. toodles~!!.

shits written. kay. thx. bye.

TP ouhh gosshh!!..

2009-03-16T14:32:00.003+08:00

ouhh gosh!!.
TP is in two days time.
18 march 2009.
k i noe frens.
it took me one year plus to get my license.
k sori lahh.
just being lazy n foolish. hahh!.

well, due to my piggy attitude, waking up late nt going to classes,
ive already spent like $1k plus yeahh. shitty! bt i dun mind.
atleast most of it come frm me nt my parents. hehh!

test is getting hotter in me bt till now i still havent do any revision classes.
NO SLOTS!!!.
so i'll be doing my tests and leaving it to luck. damn!.
wish me luck baybehh!.
insyallah.

hell im nervous!. arrgggghhhhh!!!!!.

kuda kepang is e sex!.

2009-03-16T13:46:00.009+08:00

my days are going back n forth.

everything seems to be happening again n again.

everyday is the same for me.

goshh!. i cnt live longer like dis.

where's d fun n hectic life i used to have?.

d only sweetest thing happening to me is being wit my bby lurve.

other den dat, everything is fully lame n pathetic.

jobs on the go. damn hard to get one these days.

so schoolies out dere, study hard n find a well-paid job or u'll end up like shawty.

well, i think youngsters now really need to stop being rebellious and think for themselves. really.

after regrets, i suffer alot n nw trying real hard to get on it.

stupid fools, dun u disregard ur studies or parents sayings.

confirm mati!. tentu mati!. hahh!.

just an advice. for a good head start for ur future.

as for me, my future is getting darker n darker.

lame n no life person i am. hahh!.

i often like to talk "mcm phm". kawng3!.

anyway, few days back went to Bukit Batok to watch Kuda Kepang.

met swity dere after she gt her replacement of sim card.

it was really cool n heart wrecking moment.

especially when they came right infront of ur eyes.

swity was damn scared n stayed way way way far from the plc. ahahaha!.

funny bt cute.

the way the evil spirits got in each of heir bodies was so tremendous n effing cool.

i even let my butt suffer from sitting on those hills just to watch their actions.

woah ho!!. they must be something.

looking forward for another one.

anyone who knows any upcoming shows update me cn?.

teehee!.

head off to slacking in jurong.

went back home early as swity need to.

she had tounge twister on da way back home.

wanted to say fruit punch bt indeed front puchh!.

i busted into laughter out loud!!!!.........

idiotic joker gf i hav. ily truckloads lah bby!.

i nyd a job!.

some pics we snapped when chilling,

its been so long since we snapped a pic yaww.

2009-03-08T23:27:00.003+08:00

hell im gaylicious!.
sure do. hi-5!.

my endless effort had been paid. alhamdulillah!.
thx to u bby.
thx for regarding me understanding while others think its stupidity.

hopefully, our effort and sacrifices wun be a waste yeah.
dammit im gaylicious baybeh!!. hepi lahh.

anw, im sorry for hurting u these few days and nt being myself.
i just had to. to make u feel in my shoes. indeed u did.
yes i denied cuz if i dun, sumting else will pop up.
i myself duno wad bt for sure i noe sumting bad will hapen.

we'll keep our endless sayings to ourselves n do wad we're supposed to do.
i really hope u meant wad u said tis morning n i mean it too.

well yesterday was a great day wit gf.
eventho we're doing shits.
sweet moments strike us n i felt d climate of our story.
im sorry once again for hurting u n licking on my dont's.
it was all unplanned. i swear!.

bt for goodness sake, WE MADE IT THRU!.
lurve u just the way u are.
n lastly, STAND UP FOR UR RIGHT BBY!.

ITS TIME TO LEAD A BETTER LIFE N KICK SOME BUTTS AITE HUNI!
FUCKING OUTTT!...LOL!!.

swit shits written wen im gay. kay. thx. bye. heart gf!.

2009-03-06T00:43:00.003+08:00

back at hm frm inteview.

wad a day.

went to few shops in vivo city bt no outcome.

evry single one said " so wait for our call. thx."- sien.

after interview met gf at tb.

misz her damn fucking muchhie!.

padehal smlm nye jumpe. hahh!.

tk kesah pon. ttp rindu jgak. lol!.

anyway, had a lil conversation wit gf.

damn guilty cuz of her negative tots.

im nt sure hw i react n wad have i done till she felt tis way.

bt still, im sori bby.

i didnt mean to,

its just dat i gt so carried away wit d big fite dat we had.

still cnt forgive myself n will still regret on my doings.

bt i just cant cntrl myself.

give me some time to correct myself.

for now, im just hoping for d best in us.

i hope we'll make it thru n bring back d past.

i really damn fucking misz those times so muchh.

commitment n trust we need?. yes dats it.

im hapi for im urs n ur mine.

i'll promise we'll be fine in time.

no matter wad hapens, we'll make it thru.

cuz i will always be there for u.

a thousand miles to be wit u, i wun hesitate.

as far as im concern, our lurve will never fade.

ILY n IMY bby!!.

2009-03-05T00:58:00.002+08:00

fuck im piseed!.
nabui lancut wahh cb!.

u wane mess up wit tis lil sucka mess up straight wit me lahh.
dun use gf instead.
u knnbccb say i type u out for wad?.
i gt time mehh?.

stupid fucker!.
gt no issue wit u den wan make issue wit me for fucking wad siots??.
pantang nenek myang cucu cicit mak aku peh laki uhh org bikin mulut.
so typical kan?. tu uhh. typical seii. menyampah seii kte camnie.

ygnie pmpn pon tk tau angkat tepon apesal plak.
merajuk kepe. hehh!.
bby whr r u??!!??.
tk angkat cal tk reply mseg gue sihh!!.
eeeeeeeeerrrggghhhh!!!!........sumpah siol aku risau!!,
yakdishhh!!!!!.
dah jadi hijau dah nie. arrhhhh mrepek!.

kay. shits written. kay. thx bye.

2009-03-05T00:37:00.004+08:00

up to post like dey say up yours. ahhh mrepek!.

ferst ting ferst, i lost my necklace!. dammit!. my precious lil necklace. urghh!.

meant alot to me cuz its frm mamma mia!!!. mummmyyyyy!!!....its overrrr!!!.

im happy for now.

gf n me is back as normal. nt really like d past bt getting better.

slowly slowly lahh kn. bt alhamdulillah we made it thru.

ups n dwns as usual in lurve story.

well, my patience really paid off.

thx for d advice closie.

as for now, im still in guilty conscious.

i shudnt have gone haywire n separate my lines off dat day wit gf.

bt wad can i do?. my head burst off.

goshh!. hw i wish i cud turn back time.

bt hey gf!. i hope u'll learn ur lesson n noe wad u shud do to prevent dat moment hapen again yaw. u wudnt wan it to hapen again. i swear i realise my mistakes n i swear i'll make it up to u.

I KNOW U'LL READ!. hahh!.

tis i promise u!. i wun do my shits nimore n wun consider myself pretendshits ever again!.

p/s: ILY n IMY.

life?.

life is sucky nw wit jobless.

i nid a job cuz i nid ka-chingg!.

cnt live witout u baybehh!.

rase mcm nk madi bunge gitu biuang sume sway. hahh!

lancut uh mandi bunge. hahahaha!.

thx for d lurve n effort in bringing our lurve back huni.

im so supercalifragilisticexpialidocious wit u in me.

ur my criminal n will always be.

u stole my heart n let it bleed inside of u.

tis i promise, i will always love u. chey41!!!.

2009-02-28T10:38:00.002+08:00

i fuckingly dun understand y must they come luk for me wen indeed im d one who's supposingly, logically, fuckingly shud have looked for dem. ouhh yahh!. FANATICS!. dats d answer lahh kann. only pure fanatics do dat. u gt into fights, police came u run. the next day, u come searching for victims to show ur skills n satisfy ur fucking self.

p/s: dun mess wit d fanatics. dey dun take logical thoughts but skills. LOL!. slow talks just dun exist to them. so waste of time yaww!.
bt if dey start it first, just stuff ur bloody shoe in their bloody bustard mouth n say dis " face the wall n shut ur rubbish bin tight!!". insyallah they'll cool down. lol!.

ouhh well, here's d story.
i guess they went ard one singapore wit a spear hunting for me. hahh!. stupid dimwits!.
katak called gf n told her they're after me. bt wth, unlogical. u beat me up ferst, i beat u up nxt bt in d end ur nt happy wit it, u then come luk for me. waliaowey!.
i tink i noe hw they talk to katak or eka to call me down. " ko suro tu pmpn pukimak/sial tru uhh nari uhh ehks. aku nk die tau. ko blg die aku nk die uhh hks!!!. wahh cb wahh cb!". sumitng like dat uhh. haha!,
went dwn to taka w/o gf cuz gt stuck at hm. popped one more trouble. bt nahh its okie, i'll clean ur shits they trhow at u laydee. muacckkss!.

felt damn weak like knnbccb. never felt lazy to njoy "pape picit" bt yesterday was hell im lazy to entertain. as soon as i reached, dey were luking for gf bt i say" ntah, die off hp seii. jauh longkang agaknye." isyhk3!. bt indeed its nt dat. she cnt get out due family matters.

den, talks between my party n the other party went on for long. is it logical n such a waste time wen i came u guys do talking n talking n talking bt in d end, dat fucker still wan a piece of me?. fucking waste of time riht?. yahh i noe. might as well as soon as u see me just hit me with ur "pape picit" style. craps!!. brought us up to d park behind. tis is wad happened.

big fuck chix," k lincah!. sape ade hal ngn aku?" -fanatic rabak liao.
everyone kept quiet. -big fuck chix paisey liao(overreacted).
big fuck chix came to me,"lincah uhh gerl. smlm lu yekk nari asl tk gerak" -lagk fanatic liao.
all i did was just stand there n look at her face.
big fuck chix," lu ape siol stare gua?.", lagk lagk fanatic liao.
still standing n keep on staring. one fine reason, she's damn noisy n im damn lazy.
she kicked me n expected me to get on her bt i wun cuz im nt stupid n i dun tink like she tink. she's stupid for goodness sake. she looked like as if a mad gorilla or ah meng entertaining herself and blabbering some languages damn fucking noisy while im d one standing there felt annoyed wit her mouth n just stare felt pitied for her. complete fool.
then, a guy by d name of hanan came n talk things out. i stand there n kept quiet. still talking!. damn irritating. all i want is to go home n watch tv. dah mrepek rabakk!.

talking talking talking things. big fuck chix asked," ko nk ape2 dari aku pe?."
lazy bum bum fucker(me),"aku nk ape?. ko yg nk aku pe. dah dpt aku dah tkde pape uhh."
big fuck chix," krg dgr ehks. die tknk pape tau(pointing fingers fucking fanatic liao). sonia kau dgr ehks!." then walked away like flying.
FUCKING CRAPP FUCKING MALAY SHITS SIOTS!!.

there's some things happened bt im lazy to post. complete shits. waste of time.
well i gtg. mummy's noisy n annoying. i'll update more asap aite. toodles fanatics!. goshh!.
lol!!!...

p/s: im damn lazy. kwang kwang kwang!!

2009-02-27T13:04:00.002+08:00

been days since i last posted. things were hectic and went out of control.

well, like usual tis week.

hhmm. went to my home village, Pasir Putih on sunday wit famy.
my mind was cocked up n i cudnt take it anymore.
need a time-break for my fucking self and ease my mind for few days.
planned to stay wit my uncle for d whole week bt nahh.
mummy called to come back for nephew.

nothing happened on monday, tuesday n wednesday.
normal days.
wake up, send my boy to school, get hm n get back to zzZZzz.
myt gf up, chill, smokey smoke, tv. LAME.

well, yesterday. NIGHTMARE!.
went partying at Dbl-O.
total fun inside bt we gt ourselves into shits right at ard 2am.
fuckthubb!.
beaten up by fanatic fuckers n minah "pape picit".
they gt no fucking actual reason why they lay their hands on us.
goshh!.
tried protecting gf frm getting boombah.
tis i say, i rather die before u my laydee.
pandang pmpn aku nye psl aku jln!!.
kalo tdak!. eeeeeergghh!.
had bruises on face, backache like knnbccb.

bt its okay. after d fight, all of us were nt satisfied wit our night.
went to chillies.
met saudy my long lost like biskut fren.
had lotsa fun moving my arse up.

damn night yaww!!.
"pape picit" u fuckers standby.
nex week aku trun bwk tongkat nenek aku.
nk aku meh sni sapi didi!!. lol!.

broken to pieces.

2009-02-20T03:09:00.016+08:00

its 4 in d morn n im still awake.
shits been haunting me evry sec of my breath.
evryone is asleep.
im all alone sitting
here posting shits.
shedding tears like a fuckhatonic crybaby.
whining like a sissy.
should i give up everything?.
am i falling on myself?.
someone make me stand?.
im shitty!. ive been crying evry nw n den.

tings are hard for us nw.

my dad been tensed up at work.

my mum is sick n getting weaker evry single day.

my bro is damn sick hving a deep cut

on his palm cuz of d stupid fite.

ouhh god. what am i supposed to do

to bring d happiness dat

my fam usually hav?.

i need d strength to pull myself through.

im still shaky wit my swity pie n still making tings right.

im all tensed n need alot of perseverance in me.

but fuckingly unfortunately,

my fam fall on evil's deeds?.

i cnt go on crying every nite tinking
n oozing my brain for a way out.
i felt like im losing everything.
my parents totally blamed me
for everything n claimed dat
im d cause of everyting.
ive done wad i had done n
ive done wad u guys told me to do.
bt y isit still me?.
cn anyone understand and give
me hope to bring back my
happy-go-lucky self?.

kakak, i miss u so muchh.
hw i wish u wud listen to me earlier
n not juz shoot evrything out dat nite.
i miss those laughter n joy we had evryday.
im effing sorry for all those words tat ive said.
i swear i didnt mean to hurt u.
if only u cn listen to me whining
every single nite seeing us like this.
pls cum hm n be like we used to be.
i cnt eat, i cnt slp n do everthing
peacefully wit us in bad terms.
shedding my tears for us.

bby, i hope u'll do d rite ting for our lurv story.
i'll b waiting for d exact time
bt one ting for sure i cnt wait
dat long wit my condition like tis
by myself. im losing hope n im at d
verge of giving up on everything.
i cnt hold on any further.
hw i hope u cn b d one to make me
stand so right up like hw i used to be.
i really hope. im falling to pieces.
if ever a day comes im letting u go,
dat will b day dat i'll give up my life n everything.
i'll leave everything to fate n time.

i will keep on trying as far as i cn.
but one ting for sure,
i cnt do tis alone anymore.
im criously ill n im weak like a
rotten apple. i dun hav d appetite to eat.
i dun hav d will to be hapi.
hopeless freak!.
i dun wane be a burden to anyone nimore.
SHITASS RINA'S A TROUBLEMAKER!.
HOPELESS KID!
RECKLESS ABANDON!

back on track;

2009-02-20T00:54:00.004+08:00

its been so long yahh.
been busy wit shits n hell of life these mths n days.
hw i miss posting tales on my dearest blogger.
after those shits between me n him, everything had gone wrong n shaky.

well, as for now d biggest news ever is my hair is long!.
remember on my previous post?.
i fucking miss my long hair?.
now i got it. woohoo!!.

hhmm. life?.
life's been hectic for me.
jobless, penniless, n shits been popping every now n den.
hard time for me but im still holding on.
well, rina will always be rina.
fucking hell yeahh i dun give a damn but my ways!.

errmm. love life?.
im back to square one.
wit my rainbow life.
why?.
cuz im tired of having a hunk in my life.
no point lahh kan. hopeless.
till when?.
till i had enuf n ready to get married which i gues im nt.
but if im ready to get married, i'll ask my mum to find me a husband.
but make sure a rich one so dat i can sit at home n shake my leg. lol! crapss!!.

life's been hard on me. i choose to be on my own n my own ways.
enjoying, partying, doing shits n pretending to be hapi is wad im doing all this while.
as per normal, i wun bring my sadness to ppl cuz i dun wane spoil ppl's mood.
dats mee.
only this shitty blogger will i splash my feelings n all. hahh!.

alright. dats it for now. wil blog soon enuf aite. stay tune with DJ rina.
oozing out!. shits written. kay. thx. bye.

shit happens..

2008-05-05T17:59:00.002+08:00

laughter is the best medicine for boredom. well, i went out with my ex-schoolmates n besties on saturday. it was a great fun. we had lotsa fun laughing but also lots of boredom when all of us got nothing to say n nothing to do.haha idiot!.

but anyways, i didnt know that esplanade had become a place where typical malays n show-offs 'pape picit' sitting n slacking there. wad a morons they are!. they were shuffling n doing those jumping style walks infront of nowhere n showing off they are getting cranky with their stupid lickers. knnccb. they were showing off but actually they look like fools to us cuz they are those kids who knows how to dance but they cant showin clubs so they show at esplanade. hahaha dat was damn funny. i love my frens!

after esplanade, i went on to HRC. man toyak is e sex n he rock my socks dude!. haha
got cranky a lil n dance my ass off n there goes the shit happens. stupid bungs came by to find fault with me n my frens. guess about wad?. nah, i'll tell. its about dancing on the dance floor with their bung mates n my fren cut in to dance with me twice. wth!. craps u see.

but no matter what they still dont hurt us or make us bleed or something when we damn outnumbered. there were only 3 of us who r against them n 2 of us trying to stop the fight while they had 13 bungs over us. wad a coward n funny fight. but its okay. my frens n i dun wana be thrown in lock-ups for a night just because of dancing, we took a cab n walk away. its always good to prevent rather then we pretend. yeah!.

i love my frens!..

im starting to get haywire people..

2008-05-03T01:18:00.002+08:00

ive been trying so hard to tell myself not to miss him n not to think bout our past but it seems so hard cuz we've been through alot. but as days passby, i guess i can manage it with my dearest family n frens keeping me busy. ive been starting to get cranky all night. its not because im sad or pressurised but its just for the sake of partying n enjoying. hah.

tmr night will be the first night for me to go a place where ive never been n telling people i wont go. but hey, if he can change his mind n others can change their ways, why cant i change my mind n gain some experience. heh. wad a reason.

k im off now to meet up frens. i'll update tmr bout my new experoence at e new plc. bubye. this time this is not shits ok. haha k thx. bye.

naughty girl to disobey.

2008-05-01T17:00:00.002+08:00

its now only me but that doesnt mean that im a lonely girl. nobdy aint ntertaining me right now and that doesnt mean i have no one by my side. im posting stupid shits cuz i dont even care what im typing but that doesnt mean im a fool. im just bored n i need someone or something to bring me life. he will always be the one who gave me joy n kick away all my boredom but now my nephew will replace him n im damn fucking glad. im talking shits. gota go. i miss my girls n boys out dere. suhaimi make me alive buddy!!..lol.. ur an idiot.. shits written. k thx. bye.

im lame.but not forever.

2008-04-29T00:52:00.004+08:00

hw i wish i have a fairy godmother and live in a fairytale with ponies and paperhearts. sometimes i wonder why we people will always realise their mistake when tehy already lose someone or somethings. maybe not really or supposingly lose them but after something bad happened.well, people change and even i change the way i look(cuter..haha!) and the way i think. promises are meant to be broken so might as well dont make promises if u really dont mean it. safer way is, NEVER MAKE PROMISES!. there will always be the word 'insyallah' or 'see first'. make full use of these words.

today was a disspoinment n hectic yet happy day for me. had practical lesson in the afternoon and i passed with 6 out of 12 demerit points!. woohoo!. so now gota make my provisional driving license to get to the next subject. cant wait yaw.

then, there goes my love fall down the drain n end just like that. i was told by him himself that he was tired n lazy to continue this relationship n apologized. i dun wana drag things n dun wana ask anything cuz its not important as he wana end it here so i replied "k thx. bye." i mean like its not important to me anymore cuz he was lazy to continue our relationship so wth. i'll accept the fact but i wont forget bout wat u had done to me. it will never be erased. u dont appreciate my love wen i did for long we're together so beat it. we're done. i not sad but im just dissapointed in him cuz i didnt expect him to be so short-minded n a quitter. so yah, whatever!. im moving on dude.

went to my netballl game at bukit timah, CCAB. it was damn fun n funny when we had some boys playing in the game. haha looking forward for the next game on next monday night. those who are interested can come too. will be great to have more players.

well, now im sitting by the comp thinking of what to post. im blank n lame. i need food. ali, ur free from hell. i will treasure our lost love n sweet memories. may u rest in peace yaw.

buddy said; let it go if it hurts.

2008-04-27T23:14:00.002+08:00

today was a fun yet sad yet busy yet happy yet not so hectic day for me. i had a swollen eye since yesterday spring cleaning at home. it sucks big time yaw. i look like of course not like a panda but more like a zombie.

was waken up by my dearest hot mama. she was cute u see. the moment she went mad cuz i didnt get up n get ready to go to johor bahru, she will just grab anything to throw at me. the most painful thing she threw at me was a big tight slap right on my cheek followed by a loud spank on my thigh. i love my mum.

got back from johor went to my auntie house. she introduced me of a damn easy job which i can earn about $800 a month. it was something like work from home. all i got to do is to type-in some information on the warranty card to microsoft excel and thats it. damn easy rite. i love easy money. i can just rot at home do my work n face my mum everyday. not mentioning my dad, he's been a lil jealous with my mum cuz he doesnt get the attention like my mum do. haha what a silly yet cool parents i have. syukur alhamdulillah.

this is what happen today n i was supposed to be lazy to update but my darling dearest fren by the name of suhaimi really hope to see me update by tmr. so not to let him down here i am updating. i love him also. what a loving n caring best buddy i have. ahahaha aku mcm faham!.

anw, im losing love n im at the edge of losing a boify. but i dont mind cuz im prepared for the worse n i really really really felt that he's no longer good for me but justa piece of rotten apple. i dont really wana talk bout this but only me know what's the truth and what's happening between us n how i suffered in this love. i may not be the best for u nor be the one u expect me to be but i will always be the one who remember the love n care that u shower me for long we're together. ali, ur my best boify i ever had n how i wish we're not in this state. how i wish u understand how i really feel when i understand urs. love u not forever but till the day i lost my memory. i wun let those times fall down the drain but i will let it fall down my heart. u have been my guardian angel n my backbone. i never regret knowing u nor loving u cuz ur the one i need n ur the one i hope for but time has changed n things get worsen n worsen between us. ali, i really hope u will read this post of mine n know how much i really love u n dun wana lose u. but these are all hopeless hope n fairytales of teenage love.
p.s: i love u.

for my readers info, i am so not crying right now.i dun feel the need to cry over these things cuz my tears are all dried up n my heart had become so thick that i nearly lose all my feelings n emotions. like so wtf my post is random. haha shits written. k thx. bye!.

when happy endings dont happen, its not a real ending.

2008-04-26T20:52:00.002+08:00

hey yaww!.. its been quite some time since i last blog due to some problems with my furniture n electronics stuffs at home. anw, i dont see the need to apologize for not blogging for quite some time cuz its mine anyway. but i'll appologize for those redares who hopped on but there were no updates. haha. craps.

well, things been hard for me these days n ive just lost my job due to my stupidty. well, here's to u aidil. THANKS FOR UR MEAN LAUGHTER!. aidil is my closie at work n he's an asshole. lol. anw, as now im jobless, my license cocked-up n im damn fed-up cuz ive already booked my TP slot n yet i havent got my PDL yet. damn sucky sia. but im not rushing through cuz i have my whole life to wait n pass my license since im free like a stray cat.

love was slacking and kinda hard for us. we tend to meet-up once or twice in a week or not even once. we also dont really beep each other much per day like we use to n dat i duno y. it sucks big time cuz i will always miss him n rot at home n dere he was getting busy n tired with school n preparing for his TP end of this month. i mean if u really want something u need to sacrifice some important or precious things/moments right. i dun really mind but i often miss him n thiings been popping up in my mind. if u noe wad i mean. damn annoying u see. my god!.

so, lost my job, lost my entertainment, lost my busyness, n oh lost my fren in an accident which really freak me out to still ride a bike on my own. i pity him but god loves him more than we do. .

i feel so pathetic n empty. i need music to cheer me up. i need people to tap my shoulder n say "dont worry..ur gona be fine". i need a pat on the back for me to buck up n be prepare for the worse to come. i need a big fucking tight slap to make me wake up. haha

i bought 4D numbers just now. im so paranoid. lol. shits written. k thx. bye!.

GJ lasagna SUCKS big time!.

2008-03-26T13:01:00.002+08:00

yesterday before going to work was suppose to meet bf at his workplace but was cancelled cuz his mum was coming to have late lunch with him. i thought of buying myself food before going to work but in the end time didnt allow me to n so sadly i went to work with my damn empty stomach. =(

after my work's done, ask aidil to tag along to gloria jeans, cineleisure. i wanted to buy food cuz im damn hungry n got the lasagna. before buying;

me: the lasagna is still in good condition, right?
GJ staff: yah its still good. u want it?
me: yeps i want it.
GJ staff: u want it to be heated up?
me: yes please.

after 5mins of waiting...

GJ staff: here u go, ur lasagna.
me: thank u.
GJ staff: ur welcome.

then we went back to nydc to eat the lasagna. damn fucking stupid staffs say its still good. i was damn hungry and very confidently want to eat the lasana to fill up my stomach but the lasagna has turn bad AND IT WAS DAMN HARD N SO LIKE RUBBER. IT EVEN LOOK LIKE PLAY-DOH.DAMN!

i went back to GJ n ask for a refund. idiot sia. i pay $9.90 for that kind of lasagna?. oh no!.
ask aidil to come along to complain but he was like "nvm lah just eat it ok." n i say no way!.haha
in the end, i went there myself. =( aidil so bad.
got back my cash n was thinking to get mysel fa bagel but was trying so hard to be cool n steady i walk out if the kiosk n went back. there goes my day with damn empty stomach. haha

u should have come along when i ask for the refund aidil.haha it was fun.

well, im working again tonight at 6pm. what will happen today. hmmmm.....

im psyched.sucking on yaw.

2008-03-26T12:34:00.003+08:00

people say its not nice to start a story with sadness n tears.but i think its bullshit.what if ur story was meant to be about sadness n u wana cut short what happened you will still start with sadness n tears mah.haha crap.

well, something got into my head which i cant resist to stop thinking bout it. was chatting wit my loveliest nazura on msn n were sharing some things when i broke down n get sucky. i mean who wouldnt be mad n saddened if u get to know ur dearest n loveliest bf did a big mistake which u didnt expect him to do for so long eversince we're together. its a 100% heartpain n something might pop out of this mistake dat he's doing. once i caught him doing it n promised me not to do it again just because i dont like it n the next moment ur doing it in fuckingly friendster. i know u've told me n explained to me say many times dat this all due to friendship but wth!. friends dont force each other to msg after work wen u didnt even care to msg me gdnite or sumthing.

i guess u readers got the picture. i just have to let it out since i feel so left out n my bf suddenly change into a flirt which i duno what strikes him. i dont feel insecure cuz i truly understand him n trust him. but the only thing is that he's going too far in making friends by exchanging numbers n talking like she is his new gf wen im nt dere. but i know u didnt mean it that way honey but it seems to work out that way. i dun wana say bout this matter again to u cuz ive said it once n will neva say it twice. it depends on urself to decide what is right n wrong. i dun wan everybody else outside to think that im such a bossy n want my bf to be only mine. no friends nothing at all. no relationship or friendship after us. i dont want that to hapen cuz im not.all i ask u to do is to stop contacting her be it msn, friendster or thru hp. i know its hard for u on msn n friendster. i truly know n dats e reason y ur doing it again.

dear readers;

i'm fucking shedding my tears now thinking bout him when he's at work now making coffees. all i'll do now is just to sit back n let everything flow by nature. if nothing goes wrong i & him will stay long if not u guys know what will happen. i dont know whether im oding the right thing.u guys decide aite. u guys do know that i love him such n im being so random rite now. i know. i'll stop here. blah!.lol.

misery loves its company.

2008-03-25T12:29:00.003+08:00

hey buddies.didnt blog yesterday cuz were extremely busy with somethings which are not important or even slightly important.

well yesterday in the morning, i was rotting my life at home playing with my babyboy till 3pm when i have to get ready for my practical training at BBDC. guess what??..i made it to the next course yaw!. weee~... i didnt even fall when doing the course unlike somebody who told me that he fall beore i went for the course and he was freaking me out when he told me that. but i succeed indeed with flying engines. haha wana know who the boy is!!??!!..its SUHAIMI.LOL.

then right after my training has ended i went home n went out again at 8pm to meet boify. went to cut his hair at his place n it was fun cutting his hair which i had done for the past months since we're together. syafiq was there to. well as for syafiq, he was a lil down bout his personal realtionship with his lady of course. but we did have fun chit chatting n slacking.

anyway, this is my babyboy which i mentioned just now.

and as for today, nothing much but just to work at 6pm later. gota be fun i guess. well i should say it got to be fun!. teehee. dats all for now. toodles loveliest readers!. *winks*

On & On..Reckless abandon.

2008-03-24T13:59:00.003+08:00

holla readers. well, i just woke up from my beautiful, wonderful & of course meaningless dreams.
yesterday was a kinda fun but tiring day for me.went out to marina square and picked him up from work & went to have our lunch at the food court.hey! u guys should try NASI IKAN BAWAL PENYET. its e fuckingly sex n its such a turn on!. damn nice n delicious & finger licking good u see. i should take pictures of it & post it.you guys will get hook up with it just like i did n still doing it. my mind was like telling me to grab one of the kitchen staff & bring her back home & cook for me the dish everyday. & when i got sick n tired of it then i'll return her back. LOL.

thought of not watching movie cuz we're short of money & we only got like $20 to last in 2 weeks n as for me 3weeks.but wth!.we're movie addicts n we went cineleisure to watch 'The Spiderwick Chronicles'. awesome movie i tell u. haha hell dat was a great show. went back home straight after e movie.

then, there goes my moody moments n sicky moments when something happened.its really bad n i broke down debating of somethings that have to be cleared out to somebody. it was a heartpain & annoying moment for me. well, i shouldnt say more as its not supposed to be said down here.well, gota go for my practical training or i'll be damn late n waste my freaking money.

there you go, tune in tmr same time same plc on channel rinalahsey.=))

goddamn it!.

2008-03-23T13:57:00.001+08:00

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!!
UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!!
UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!!
UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!!

your heart my hand.

2008-03-22T16:32:00.002+08:00

hi-5 stardust!.its been effing long time since ive updated and here i am updating after tons n tons of request.i guess my storied are interesting hah.blah!.

well anw, im feeling fine and neva felt better for most.life's been kinda sucky n boring when ur in e process of taking ur bike license which i am doing right now.money are tight at all times time were very short n stingy.but im fine with that.i mean like most people say u have to sacrifice somethings f u really want to achieve somethings rite?.i guess e answer should be a yes.

for some of u who didnt know that i've already quitted working in coffee bean for quite some time already, i'm xurrently working in NYDC outside heeren.check me out same time same place on channel rinalahsey.ahahaha crap bitch!.

i miss my school frens.be it from primary,secondary or ite.wth!.i especially miss my loveliest darling nurul shaheda e biggest suckiest bitch ever in my life.wakakaa.mind my language.huhu

hmm..ali?..my bf?..we're still together and still going strong.times are hard now so we didnt get along like we do in e past cuz school's are over and we're busy with our own things but e heart and soul to each other will always be e same.ceywahh!.

let me tell u e reason why im updating my blog.its just because there's net in my room's com!!..wakaka shits written aite loveliest readers.tune on tmr aite.vroooommmm!!.....

2007-10-23T16:17:00.000+08:00

hey hey hey...its been ages since ive blogged..im busy n hell yeah im lazy these months n days n weeks n hours n minutes to do tis kind of tings..wakakka..but due to my frens requests n hell sarcasm im updating rite now..waste my time!..but its okie..i dun mind..

Firstly, my studies..my studies went well i got 2.6GPA point dats quite enuf for me even if its not enuf i dun really care cuz im changing course nex year to office skills n den accounting..i really wan be an accountant u c!..MATHS ROCK MY SOCKS BIG TIME!!..

Secondly, my family..my family was great, fantastic, superb, lovely n most of all cool!..BUT my lil sis ruined it all..she didnt came home for tis year hari raya n dat hurt my parents alot..its been weeks n i guez going for a month till today she didnt sleep in tis lovely n warm house..i dun blame on her frens cos its her life n she shud live e right way n do e right tings herself..i mean her frens might be e same n dey even influence her but it depends on her wills rite..wtf!..dats all about my family..idiotic sister!..

Thridly, love life..been great all along n been beta after our break-up last 2 mths..we understand each other more n had lesser misunderstandings compared to e past..i luv him so bloody hell much!..but more my family!..k merepek!..mestilah tkde dorang tkdelah aku..& oh oh..guess wad!..he brought me to eat SEOUL GARDEN n dat was e first time ive been dere..it was awesome but i managed to eat only a lil cuz im sick n i suffer from sinusitis..find out urself wad kind of illness is dat..but now im fine n healthy not dat healthy but juz healthy..anw, i made e ice kacang for us n it turned out yummy!!..but i didnt finish it bcos of my stupid sinus..but anyhw anyway i had a great time dat day n it was our 1yr 4mths together..thks boy!..ur e best!..sum pics taken at SEOUL GARDEN..

ok..lastly i wana post bout hari raya but im lazy to..so nex time yah..tune in next time maebe in three more months..haha nahh..juz kidding..but maebe can be true lah hor..bubye dear diary!..

2007-01-16T11:46:00.000+08:00

well im back for posting.life's been great and evryting work out fine between me n e surroundings.i got my pay 2 days ago and i 2/4 of my pay spent on food and only $50 spent on my things which is ciggies and a bag.hahaha..food is important u noe.bahh..he says "dun eat too much u fatass.." and i'll go "wth!..i dun care.."...hahaha...

hmm..been up to a movie on thurs wit bf and his sis and other WM coffee bean baristas.hope dat it will turn out fine and joyful.duhh..im posting craps u c..

i miss my old fwens esp my old fwens on sec sch.those bitches and dimwits on hkss.hahahaha.juz kidding.all those bf & gf of mine.sheesh...miss the old times but i enjoyed e new times dat r happening now cos my babyboy is wit me.tsk..

dats it.gota watch tv and get ready for skul.c ya ard peeps..peace out.*smacks head*

I GOT MY PAY!!!!...GONA EAT LOTS & LOTS OF FOOD!!!..YUMMY!..
BEN & JERRY'S CHOCHOLATE FUDGE BROWNIE ICE-CREAM PLS!!..

2006-12-29T21:17:00.000+08:00

im bored to death rite now.i gt nuting to blog on.i felt so empty now.tot of going ecp wit dina cos its her bdae but my ezlink had run out of train rides cos i went out before dat to skul and sumwhr else.im sori dina i cnt go.its like my butt is so big n heavy dat im lazy to go anywhr but juz to stay at home n sleep.but nw i fil like a stupid asshole sitting infrnt of the pc blogging wit empty words and phrases.duhhh....omg!..i want my daddy..i want him..but both of dem r werking..wth!..todae is sucha turn-off-home-wrecked-day..bahhhh!!!!...

I WANT TO GO SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...............

2006-12-23T16:42:00.000+08:00

been up to work, work n more work.holiday mah.got plenty of free time so earn money lor.hehex..met ali at my plc n we went to chill and chit chat while waiting for shida to get ready.headed to bugis at 4 and reach there ard 6 plus cos we went to long john.n guess wad.we were eating den dere's dis malay auntie sat next to us n she was toking on e fone saying dat she's at long john.it goes like "aku kat jon jon nie.dkat jurong east.ape tempat mkn nie jon jon eh ke ape name org putih.name die jon jon.sini ade burger jon jon tak.ni aku nampak org beli burger jon jon nie."hahahaha...it was damn funny u noe.damn dat women.but cute though.dammit.

headed to gashaus and waited for shida like for an hour.i tink so.ard dere den went in n a punk band was playing.quite nice songs u noe.& oh oh.dina moshed wit me yesterdae u noe.hahahahahha.its oso bcos she fuckcare bout louis.dammit louis.bahhhh....headed back home at 10.15 cos ali got to go home.and dats e day yesterdae.quite boring yet fun.teehee.

going out wit my family laterzzz...weeeeee..family outing is so cooollll....i luv it n i noe u guys do.wahoo..update nex time or maebe new week.hehe..c first lah..wan change my skin uh but duno to wad.hehe..k laters..bye.i miss him.

2006-12-15T17:07:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i blog.its such a turn off for me to blog u c.well, life's been not up to no good for the moment or forever.idk.been busy working n skuling all day long till today my last day of skul and here i am blogging bout me.

his b'dae had passed wen it falls on 10 dec.i was sorry dat i cant spend my time with him cos i have to work and he had an occasion with his family.dat was awful u c.i dun get him even a present cos im empty.im such a useless gal.but juz wana let him noe dat his present will always stay long and it will be my heart.my heart n luv will always be open for him and no matter wad hapens i'll try to give the best shot i can to make u hapi and feel secure.

im juz feeling down rite now cos my thigh hurts and now i guess my migrain is back in action.i tink so.dah sembuh dtg alek plak.haiz..im juz tinking of wad hapened yesterdae.it was seriously a bitter moment and i felt like giving up on him but i kip on telling my heart stop and my brain dont.i juz luv him.but y muz he do dat.its nt like im nt dere for u.i noe we can solve our own problems and others dun have to noe.its ours and dey dun hav to noe.i juz dun understand.n dat person now push all the blame on me for treating u badly but i dun.im juz being caring cos i do and i luv u.its not dat i like to.and now dat guy dusnt tok to me bcos of dat and i juz dun care but i tink i care and i juz duno.all i noe is us.i only care bout us and i want u to noe dat and always kip dat in ur mind and ur heart.omg!..can sumone help me..pls..im in nid..he's feeling bad rite now but i juz told him he dun hav to cos evriting had hapened and wat's done cannot be undone.i wan boon, me and ali to be back like the past but evriting's seemed not to work out well.i juz cant like say "hi boon!!..wassup?.."i have my own waterface okay!!..if he wans it dat way den i'll give him dat way cos i noe i dun care.i juz dun understand.oh god..pls help me..tears are rolling down my cheeks rite now tinking of wads happening.

tmr he'll be going out wit frens and he asked me along n boon will be dere.i really wan to go but i juz cant see boon's face bcos of wad hapened yesterdae.he juz seemed to noe the other side and dat is ali's side n not me.im not treating ali badly cos if i am i wun be with him cos he's my boi and i care alot bout him.u guyz juz dun understand a gal's feelings and thoughts bout being with her boi.oh please..i wana stop crying.i still luv him no matter wad hapens and its the truth..I SWEAR!!!..

2006-11-27T20:38:00.000+08:00

todae got up early to prepare for work orienation.orientation turns out fine but went in late cos i have to wait for another colleague.waliao.not juz late but damn late.bahhh....

after dat met him at redhill and zoom we went to skul oreadi.had the basic pneu test and it went fine.a lil of stress up cos my cylinder went out but neva went in.lol.mistakes man mistakes.after skul went wezmall to send him to work and had a short chat and we separate from dere.he went to work and me headed back home.now siiting infront of the com doing nuting but blog..gish..bored..

blogging turns me off really but tis is e only ting dat put away boredom for a few minutes.dats all lah..nuting more to blog.k..thx..bye..

2006-11-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

went to vivo city today with ali, boon and acit.firstly it was a lil boring but den in the end turns out jzu fine.chit chat alot and ciggies and ciggies and ciggies..played water wit ali for a while and headed home at ard 8pm.damn tired and sleepy but for now i ahve to help my brother to send his resume.wtf!my brother so idiotic he dusnt even noe hw to sen dan e-mail using attaching files.bahhh...but nvm.im sincere to help.haha..mcm phm plak..but behind all these dere's a deal u noe.i help him re-typr, he help me cook to fill up my empty stomach.wakaka..cool huh..

well, tmr i had an oritentation at redhill.job orietation i mean.*smacks head* ali cnt send me dere cos dere's some troubleshooting a home..wakaka..troubleshoot..kk nonsense,,i wana go do re-typing and den eat and den go to slip..urrggghhh...i luv him..wakaka..madness..k..thx..bye..

2006-11-25T22:16:00.000+08:00

well..first tingy first i woke up todae, i felt like i miss him so much.mcm 1o tahun tk jumpe.nonsense u noe but im swit i noe.wakaka.mcm phm.met him den he was supposed to go to bugis to mit his parents but den it was cancelled cos his mum had stomache so he went back to mit me again.tok and tok and tok and ciggies and ciggies and ciggies den went back home.had a lil nap and wen tout wit my family to boon keng and i ate sup kambing.yummy!!..finger licking gud!..yeah!!..den went straight back home.and now blogging while chatting wit him.k..dats all..no more kepo-chi reporting shits.im bz wit him..

frens cum n go but pretenders will alwaez stay..fuck dem all..alot of ppl gona die tonite.kk..thx.bye..i luv him..i miss him..frens n pretenders can go n die.dey neva eva lay out a hand.

2006-11-25T10:20:00.000+08:00

i fil appreciated n will neva forget his bdae present to me.im soooooo hapi.

i juz miss him for now very much..i wan new fwens but dun wan a new boifren..hapi wit dis one.luv yah..wakaka..

2006-11-24T23:26:00.000+08:00

well..today's my bdae n it was awesomely great..went to skul in the morning and den went to hxc gig at gashaus..met dina dere and dere goes me in e dark loud boomed place..wakaka..woah..i do smoke alot todae..muz cut dwn muz cut dwn..ali n dina was planning to give me a surprise which was by giving a dedication thru dina's fren hu's performing but it juz dusnt work out cos dey were short of time..im lucky..if not, all of dem will noe dat it was my bdae and confirm malu..bahh..i went into the moshpit and i was hit on my face it was like ouch..asked dina along but she dun wan cos louis dun allow her..hmph!..so sad my bdae cnt get to mosh wit my bitch..but nvm..dere's alwaez a nex time bebeh..and oh oh..i got bodysurfed..dat was my first time and it was great..i shouted like 'aaarrrgggghhh....' cos im shocked..wakaka..den kip my mouth shut and juz laugh..wakaka..

went back home ard 10.30 and met ali's dad and siscos dey are sending me back home and it was ali's idea..jantung berdebar sak..waliao..seram gile ehk..his dad really luk like mr nasir..hehex..but he's more gud luking uh..haha..funnny sia..hapi 17th bdae t myself bebeh..

kk..dats all..im tired..wan to slip..thx.bye.i luv him..

2006-11-23T18:52:00.000+08:00

well..dere's tons for me to update but i juz cbt afford to update evritink..so juz a summary of my week aitez..teehee..

monday basically i went to skul and went straight back home..
tuesday went to skul in the morning and get to noe i nid to take my typhoid injection for working at coffee bean wit ali's sister..
wednesdae went to skul and went to polyclinic to get my injection and it cost $20 for dat injection and i was like damn scared cos i only felt it twice and dat was in primary skul and believe it or not i dun even hav my bcj injection..wakaka..

let me tell u hw the injection goes..
nurse:ok gal..luk at the bear2 on ur right..
me:huh?..
nex..wee..the needle went into my left arm..omfg!..i was so startled and it was like..i duno wad kind of feeling is dat..hehex..

and juz nw went to skul and heed back home straight cos it was my dad's birthday and tmr is mine!!..going to the hxc gig tomr at gashaus and im nervous and scared..excited oso got..haha..im sure gona get it from dayah and petrina..gish!..update den tmr aitez peeps..

k..thx..bye..i luv him..

2006-11-19T00:27:00.000+08:00

wtf..i lost my hp..im so stupid to lend it to a stranger and dat fucker ran away wit my hp..she tld me she lost her wallet and wanted to borrow my hp to msg so i gave..wad do u expect to tink of wen u have only good intentions which is to help bcos she's old..and wth she took my hp away..nbcb..urgh!...

went out to nus to watch my lil bro perform and they won the most outstanding performance..and guez wat i saw tis one fucker dressed up like a punk kitty and it was damn obvious dat she's a trendy whanker and i felt like smacking her ead and asked her to get a life..she told almost evrione dere that she's a gothic lady..wtf!..but yet she dressed up like a punk..nampak kat lua ludah die nye muke aru tau..haha..the most stupidest kid in the world might not be as stupid as her u c..stupid buffalo..nbcb..

aft nus headed to esplanade..boon and ali practised sum songs n i put in sum effort to help..huhu..it was quite fun and damn boon was crious..wakaka..i gave him the 1st verse u noe..it was cool..haha..juz the 1st verse..had dinner at ljs and headed back home..it was total fun todae..i luv him..

my hair went wrg

2006-11-12T12:15:00.000+08:00

went out wit my sec sch fwens to jln2 attacking ppl hse for hari raya.it was effing fun but it was kinda cocked up wen planning and searching for frens' hse to go to.total up i think we went to 9 houses and it was tiring and oh oh my feet's hurt.dere's blister all over.omg!..damn painful.i ate alot yesterdae.really2 alot.too bad dzuhir was sick and me n bubul were laughing n giggling all our heads out.got to noe sum new fwens which is nasrullah gerlfren named fira.she's swit.

laz hse was syafiq hse and it was awesome!..terrace hse u c.i noe its not a big deal but for us it is.us living in flats going into a terrace hse.its like wow!..me, hafiz n bubul were lie planning to stay in a hse like dat together.fani sia.im lucky cos i get to go to syafiq hse for 2 consecutive years but tis yr w/o suhaimi.he's not free.gish!..well, dats all..we camwhored alot but i onli upload sum pictures.so sori dumbass.im nt as hardworking as u tink.i mish him alot!..

1st hse n our miting point..teehee.. i suck alot in tis pic

mcm photoshoot kn..padehal2..haha.. me n bubul..

k..thx..bye..

2006-11-10T19:41:00.000+08:00

the feeling to go shopping now really can make me puke.i juz duno what to buy and what shud i do wit dat money.dat was like fuckthubbed.i really nid to go for classes and start from scratch on how to go shopping.*smacks head*

well...my pay is oreadi ou tbut idk wad to do wit it.i juz duno.tot of buying a pair of shoe and sum tees but it juz dun seem to work wen i got into the shop.im juz a lil confse girl.wakaka..

went to catch a movie wit ali the day before yesterdae.although it was a lil cocked up but we still managed to have fun.the convenant was really awesome.and the hero was really hot.hotter den ali.haha..i muz be crazy..well..yesterdae was juz a normal dae.

went for an interview at al's workplc and the manager told me dat she wil give me a call in 2 or 3 days time.idk lah can get or not.sheesh..im bored rite now.

& oh oh..todae is our 5mth anniversary.woohoo..so hapi liao.luv him so much.kay bubye..!!

2006-11-07T09:02:00.000+08:00

life's been up to a test.dere's ups n dwns dat u have to face and patience is the way out to a brighter part of life be it now or later.

weekdaes are juz like normal days but hari raya be it on weekdaes or weekends supposed to be a lil bit different.but to me,its juz the same.my family were not surprised dat its hari raya n neva felt excited bout dat.they only hoped dat it will end faster.haha.

fridae is a totally nonsense day.planned wit him to vivo city to watch moie but cancelled.then,planned to go suntec to handover some tings and dat also was cancelled cos dina called and asked to go to e gig and i went.

dat gig was effing boring.there were no performance held and i only get to see dat idk band.and oh oh..dat band was like booooo!!!!..it sux big time.tried to tell dina's fren,loius to shut them up before my eardrums burst but think twice its okie juz enjoy the music not their performance.wakaka.

saturdae me n classmates went to houses for hari raya visits.dere were only the five of us.me,boon,ali,jasfah and khai.it was effing fun but boring cos we ran out of ideas of where to go and ran out frens who were at home waiting for us to visit them.haiyo.very sien.

2006-11-06T23:16:00.001+08:00

life's been hard for me nw..my family went havoc for now.i juz duno wad striked my family n oso me.me n ali r not really going well these days.urgh..i juz duno wad to sae.i tot tis mth will be the most happiest mth ever but tis mth is not for me tis year..it totally went wrg.i felt insecure, unsatisfied and sad all the time.if these beautiful waters flowing down my cheek can have the chance to talk me, they'll say,please stop wasting my friends.sheesh.i nid a break.i cant just hold on like dis.only a fool can do so.wad's so hard between me n him?i juz dun understand.isit really the time for us to go separate ways?but i dun wan tis to hapen.i noe he dun wan too but i juz duno whether im really for him or juz a fool dumbass.dats all.bye.

2006-10-21T21:31:00.000+08:00

well..got fired from stupid job readi..nw free like a bird and easy as abc..e most favourite part of the year is around the corner n im sure evribody out dere busy preparing for hari raya..well, as for me n my family, we dun really do dat much for now cos all of us are busy wit our own things like skuling n working..gona do major spring cleaning frist thing tmr morning..wakaka

as days pass by, im stone-hearted and felt hatred towards my sister..u dun wana noe y n i tink its no use of me blogging bout it..she's juz a wild animal in tis hse n a pain in the ass..money juz cant rule ur life n dats not e reason for u to be unreasonable and disrespect to anione especially ur parents..w/o dem, u uwn even have a heart n soul to live or even be alive..u stupid fool..get a life n wake up..they r not ur dolls or those fucking robots whom u can shout or fuck ard wit..u'll be better off dead dear sister..
thx.bye..i luv him..

2006-10-12T12:59:00.000+08:00

been busy working these days..work work n more work..had neva been miting him like we alwaes do in e past and neva had an outing wit him or a proper break fasting outing..im so dwn and cant even imagine what we had been doing wen im at work and how he put away all those boredom behind him..im so sorry swthrt but i have to work..i juz cant tell them "hey u faggots..this job sux real bad and i wana quit now.."..im not e big shot there..haha i wish i am..

well, we've been together for 4mths plus readi and im really happy for us..although to sum of u freaks out dere think that 4mths is juz a pice of shit but to us its like 4 yrs we've been toghether..haha luv him to bits..i felt closer n more loved by him though..but my job is always blocking us to be together and led our misses out..fuck tis job..im gona grab my 1st pay and there i go out at the woods looking for my luv one n run for my life..haha

HAPI 4TH ANN. TO U SWTHRT!!..

skuls starting nex week and i wan it fast..i wan all e joy back and happiness and and craziness in us at skul..wakaka skul come quick and save my life from those evil faggots at carrefour who always want m to work..muaxx..
thx..bye..

2006-10-05T12:47:00.000+08:00

juz got my new job at carrefour..went for orientation and tada! i got my job..nw going under training of cashiering..get to meet my darl..we had fun but not so much fun..i juz nid help on controlling my emotions..the path filled wit butterflies had faded and soon disappear e only path nw is only heeding to the graveyard near my grandma..i juz cant afford to blog rite nw..im in no mood..can sumone juz help me get up..pls..thx..bye

2006-09-30T15:16:00.000+08:00

simplicity is e best but being plain is so not for us..we've been going thru plainniest moment we eva had since yesterdae..we can juz sae it bcos we didnt contact much n we have our own plans..dats so not gona work out for me in e future..i juz cant bear being plain wit him..yesterdae had a one crious conversation..e crystal rain rolled dwn our cheek as we speak our words..fear striked me n stupid wonders bugging me out..will he leave me?..tis question keeps on blinking in my mind w/o e answer..in e end, we get ourselves out n dere we go continuing our luv and bonding it to be stronger n tight..i juz hope dat the day he has to leave me is e dae wen i hale my last breath..thx.bye.

2006-09-29T14:03:00.000+08:00

e chain wit him is absolutely fine and filled wit love n joy.its been such a satisfaction for now.we get along well and understand each other for good.but as for now, e chain in old relationships had been so fuckthubbed.ive been feeling left out all this while since i get to noe dat my own closiest had been in bad terms for e past few mths n dey were faded.really far away faded.y am i being left out?..isit bcos im either wit dem all tis while or im not their skulmate n r not cose to dem liek e past?..y muz e both of u in bad terms?..

bubul, u just have to face the facts..raida dont need u animore.ive been trying to explain to u yesterdae but u juz dun understand.im nt giving up on our frenship but its written rite infront of our eyes dat we have no more raida.i told u yesterday dat bestfren juz dont exist animore.do u ever tink y i sae dis?..cos sumone out dere had been teaching me sumtings wen i once felt e same ting dat u feel rite nw.i felt insecure n mad wen i found out dat u guys had been keeping secrets from me for e past 4 mths.i had to turn in to him cos he's always dere for me no matter hw far we are.its not my fren but my boi.e one who i neva treat as a bestfren before but only a closie to me.whr were raida wen u suffer all tis while?..she's out dere having fun wit her new frens w/o u..is dat wad u call bestfren?..she have her boi, her family and she's already 18 tis year..she dun need u animore.she dun need bestfren cos she have zul.u feel sad n down nw becos u dun have ur special ones yet.if u had one, u can overcome all tis liek i do rite nw.he said frens cum n go.n dat's e truth.u guys only cum to me wen u guys r hapi but neva cum to me wen ur sad.is dat wad u call bestfren?..bestfren share their dwns and ups together but u guys dun.we only do dat in e past wen we're in secondary school.u guys r still in secondary school dat is e reason u guys feel gold in those frenships but wen u get out of dere n enter e new world n circle of frens, u guys will feel wad i feel for now.bubul, its time for u tink about all dis and be by urself.we cant get raida back.dats e truth..

raida,i miss e old u.i miss those tymes wen we laughed, pissing ppl off together n all dat.well, ppl change.im sorry i cant be dere wit u wen u felt lonely w/o bul.im juz living my own life and i noe i had to.i juz cant depend on u guys as i hav my own boy to depend on.u guyz are juz not my besfren animore.i dun have any bestfren animore.im so sorry but i have to.i havent and did not change in any way.its only time dat change.u n bubul will face the real world n no more bestfren times one day.both of u will feel wad i feel since i left e two of u.one day, its only left with old friendships and close fren.bestfrens are just fairy tales and dark dreams.dey only have happy endings and sad endings dusnt exist.bestfrens are so high school.face it guys.

ps:no matter wad u guys will alwaez be in my heart n my happiness.im sorry.

atiqa, stop bothering and openning ppl's fantastic past world.all of dat r so last summer.ur juz being a small little kid hu juz learnt hw to tok and does not have aniting else to say but only e past which were thought.because of u fucking motuh, those peeps out dere had lost their luv ones n trust to each other.stop making stupid news n 411 to raida.she's innocent n ur juz a fat bitch going round hong kah sec telling bout bubul's old fairy tales.ur lucky dat im nt ur classmate animore.if not, u'll noe wad hapen.e ting dat hapen to sila which was made by me in our class e past 2 years will hapen to u.ur juz lucky.if not for me to turn bul's mind around for not beating n whacking u up, u'd be sure dead off n ur mouth we'll be getting out of ur face.thank me for dat.well, i guez for now u shud juz shut the fuck up n mind ur own business.stop being a small kid and taking away frens from each other.u can juz share them n be happy together.u juz dun do e rite ting as a teenager turning a young adult.u juz making a success in being a MAKCIK KEPO who sits at e void deck toking bout ppl's ass instead of cooking at home and handling of their own children.u'll get gold for it for sure.got looks but no brain might as well just jump off the lake and be dead.

we're shedding tears together n u babbling stupid tings.haiz ur just a piece of shame to the nation.wakaka..urgh..i dun care n i noe u dun care.but i hope one day u'll read tis post n come straight rite up to me n slap me on my face for saeing all dis ting bout u.but u'll noe wad willhapen to u after dat.if one of ur teeth dont drop on the sparkling floor, ur damn lucky.thx.bye

I LOVE HIM..

2006-09-26T11:33:00.000+08:00

well, i had let my misses out by miting him yesterdae night..it was great and gaylicious..luv him so much..today he's working n fasting..waliao..he'll be tired..hope he's fine..im juz bored..n dere's nuting much to tell about..its juz dat i still cant fast today..its not over yet..haiz..wasted 3 daes readi..

and oh oh..hady won yeah..cool..2 consecutive years won by malay hot peep..but taufik batisah aint dat hot..he's juz a copycat of usher..yucks..but hady is sure hot..but ali's hotter..wakaka no matter wad he's hotter den anione else..inmy eyes i mean..haha i dun care bout others and u dun care too..huhu

oh god..i luv him so much..thx.bubye.

2006-09-25T07:07:00.000+08:00

cant get my eyes shut to sleep..haiz duno y..sumtings had been bugging inmy mind but i dun hav e answer to myself..he had explained to me everything but my head kips on working n cant get me to rest..woah..i need a break..i wana sleep..he wans me to sleep..but i juz xant get to sleep..i duno y..

anw, today's e 2nd day of the fasting mth..n im nt fasting again due to gerl's prob..haiz wasted two days of e mth..i miss him so much!!!....i feel like waking him up, take a ride n get to his place..knock on his bedroom door and hug him and oh oh kiss him as tight as i could..but i cant..i juz cant..i dun care n u dun care too..i still miss him..thx..bye.

2006-09-24T11:40:00.000+08:00

hell yeah..back to blog..hmm..life's been totally awesome for me..but im wondering till when it will last..haiz hope dat dere's no ending in happiness..especially tis one dat im goin thru rite nw..woohoo..i loike..

yesterdae went out wit my swthrt..i had a job interview 1st at Plaza S'pura Carrefour..it went well and e manager or sumting told me dat she will call me on monday morning..ali was quite upset wit me cos if i get dat job, i have to work both weekends till closing..den i wun get to spend time wit him or break our fasting together on weekends..sori dear..i cant..i hav to work..he was really upset wit me cos i dun wana work wit him in e 1st plc at coffee bean..its nt dat i dun wan..i wana work wit him but e problem is..is..i duno..haiz

anw, after dat we went to penni, city hall..bought badges and we proceed to esplanade..as we proceed to get what we need..wakaka kk..back to e story..we camwhore all day and we took like more den 50 pictures..i drew tears, shade extension lips and etc on his face..dat was fun..after dat went to coffee bean, westmall to meet his sister and eat free foods free drinks..woohoo..i got to drink pure choc..yummy!..and oh oh..i get to eat OREO CHEESECAKE!!!!!it was like so damn yummy..thx to his sis..if i were to hug her n kiss her, i'll surely do dat bcos of dat pure choc n wonderful cheesecake..wakaka

after dat went hm and got back to him at his plc..he went to fasting prayers(terawih) and i went hm to change sumtings but i cant cos e ting was not dere wen i reached hm..haiz so he had to bring dat ting for me..haha so funny..den we went chilling wit his fwen..dats all for today..

i had great fun wit him all day long...luv him so much..and oh oh..wait..

yesterdae wen its time for me to go home, he sent me to e busstop..he hugged me..dat hug was like so tight and comfy..it filled wit so much love n tender..i really fill e luv dat we had for each other n he told me dat he can cry wen hugging me..aint dat sweet..he muz be emo..!!haha well, i luv him so much for sure..he's like very different from e other guys i had before..he's very special and he have his own way of living, own way of taking care of me,ow way of luving me and e wae he treat me is very different from e other guys who treat me before..omfg..i luv him so much..much muh more den choco milk..wakaka

2006-09-19T17:44:00.000+08:00

halu..back to blog..hav not been blogging for a few daez readi..well, life's being so greatful and filled wit happiness and joy..be it wit him or my family..its been 3mths plus we're together and we had gone thru alot 2getha..happiness, sadness n oso difficulties dat striked either one of us or e both of us..having him in life is so much a bless..ive alwaez seen the brightest path in life wen he's ard n be by my side..i woke up wit e widest smile n e sparkling light shining bright at me wen i heard he's fine..evritime wen we're together, we laughed n had the joyful moments all day long w/o tinking bout e sadness..eventhough we did fought n quarrel bout sum tingy but our luv to each other had neva n will neva fade..i had n will shed tears for him n e sadness we've gone or going thru cos i luv, care n bother to do so..it dusnt matter of pain or suffer, but i will still n will do aniting juz for e both us to be hapi n together till eternity if god is willingly to let us be..i'll swear to god and can be damn sure dat if the day cums dat he has to leave me, dats e end of my happiness and brightness of life..i'll be the most unhappiest, unluckiest, insecure, incomplete, stupidest, hopeless and evriting dat is negative girl in the whole wide world..i pray and hope dat every second, every minute, every hour he's fine, secure n happy wit wad he do, go n hav..it'll stab me right thru my heart to see him in sadness, anger and pain..im very sory swithrt cos im not perfect and cnt be wad u wan me to be but i'll make damn sure dat my luv for u will be perfect n fine..it will alwaez be in dat way n will neva change cos u stole my heart away and i dun want it back but i juz wan it to juz stay wit u for as long as we can..

p.s: i love you..

kecikadeez~....~ 10062006 ~....~zulilelalelo

2006-09-16T11:21:00.000+08:00

exams r over n nw having my holidae readi..its quite boring wen holidae cos dere's nuting much to do at home..n sumore im nt working..woah..damn boring..but wen its skul time, im lazy to go to class cos e teachers r like fuck..all of dem r craps..buti still have to go cos im e one taking e exam not dem rite..hehe

anw, yesterdae mit my swithrt..he told me dat i got 6/30 for my electronics devices subject exam..i failed..fuck man..my dad's gona kill me..he likes to put high hopes on me..dats not good rite..i may make him hapi ni may disappoint him..but nw i disappoint him..nvm, gona try my very best n get better results for e nex exam..nw i want to noe my digital electronics exam results..if i fail badly for tis exam, im sure gona cry like fuck cos i studied very hard for tis exam..i mean i spent 2/4 of my day on studying tis subject..damn tiring u noe buti still have to study cos i noe e exams is ard e corner..haiz..i dun wana fail..

anw, yesterdae wit my swthrt was so much fun..we laughed our head out n he had fully recovered..thank god..alhamdullilah..im so hapi..we went to eat at Enaq n i sent him home..hehe i wana spend more time wit him so send him back lor..i noe its weird for a gal to send his boi back home but i dun care..it cant be alwaez him to send him home cos its not fair..he's tired n he got to reach home fast n take a rest..i mean we need to be fair..anw, my ezlink is in conceesion pass so i dun mind..taking turns to send each other home is way too cool..haha

n oh oh..my brother's lil princess had been delivered on 14th of tis mth at 12:47pm..haha he called me in e morning but i was having my exam so i cant pick up e fone..n in e afternoon went i got home, my brother came back n told me dat my sis-in-law had delivered e baby..i den went to get changed n say i wana go to e hospital now..den all of us went to e hospital..woohoo..dat was cool..as soon as we arrived at NUH, me n my brother went straight to the nursery n asked for lil princess but e nurse said she's not dere but wit her mum indeed..went to kak lina's ward n dere she is figgitng in e white cloth wrapped on her..haha so cute and and she got thick hair..we did camwhore in e hospital u noe..it was fun n wen i hold e baby to take pics, i was scared cos she was damn light n im scared it wud fall or sumting..but im confident enuf to hold e baby..i gota be damn extra careful..haha..n dats it lah..lazy to blog further..back other tyme aite..toodles~

2006-09-13T21:23:00.000+08:00

tmr is my 1st exam in ite..studied a lil but now cant study animore cos nuting can be stored for now..haiz..hope can do my very best tmr..i dun wana fail..nobody wans to fail rite..only stupid n foolish ppl wans to fail..hehe

anw, ali is back as per normal..he had recovered n we're back as per normal..huhu so nice n good..haha thx to god man..

im lazy to blog further..bye..

2006-09-11T10:08:00.000+08:00

e inspiraton to blog is still not dere..i duno y..maebe its bcos of the worries n probs i hav..c'mon..i nid a break..my boi is still sick n im damn woried..he's been sick for almost a week..woah..oh god..pls get ali well soon..i beg of u..

yesterdae me n my family went out to send my sis to work at suntec city..after dat we went to city hall(esplanade) and we camwhore unless my mum who's having asthma n she juz stay inside e car..it was great..but for sure i mish ali at dat time..

well, yesterdae its our 3rd mth together..n we didnt get to be together at dat time cos hes sick..we cudnt mit n cudnt tok on e fone cos of his throat infection..haiz..but nvm..i dun blame him to be sick cos it cums n go wen dey wan to.. hapi 3rd ann. to u swthrt..

@ tanjong pagar railway..went to hav lunch dere b4 sending my sis to work..

cooL hah..dats it..Ciaoz..

2006-09-10T05:04:00.000+08:00

wow..its gona be 5 in the morning n im still awake..i duno y..anw, sori didnt updat for e past 2 daes..lazy to blog..hehe

well,on friday ali went to skul and i was like damn hapi cos he's going back to skul n confirm kecoh..haha but den he's still sick so not dat kecoh..but at least he did turn up..saturday went to study wit ali at his plc..we didnt study dat much cos ali nid to go home cos its either he had to or he's temperature rise again..i was like awww...hes going back so fast..my misses havent even healed yet and he had to go..but den i cant say aniting cos its his choice..its impossible for me to ask him to stay..i cant do dat..its his life not mine..rite?..haiz..den after dat went to eat ard 11 pm wit my family and we went to mustafa centre..be back home at ard 2 going to 3 n nw im awake..

oh yah..wana noe wad?..today's my 3rd mth wit ali..we had gone tis far and im proud..i luv him so much..he's like evritink..my life is so much happier and at ease wen he's dere wit me or in my heart..omg!..tis is so i loike..hehe

2006-09-07T21:56:00.000+08:00

hey.. im back..
im feeling damn angry and pissed off rite nw.. wana noe y?.. my lil fu**ing sis really get on my nerves.. i mean wad's her motive of not coming back home for 3 solid days?.. she's only 14.. i noe dat wen im 14 i hav bad attitude and like a lil slut outside but i dun wan her to become like me cos i care n luv her.. but does she ever tink of dat?.. she often tinks dat i hate her e most but behind those words, i scolded her n kips on bugging her out by asking question and giving her curfews because i care for her and dun wan her to be in trouble.. both of us r not like e past whr we slip together and laugh our head out together.. she's completely different nw and i hate her nw.. wad's wrg wit her?.. does she hav any probs or sumting?.. wad does she really want?.. freedom?.. me and my family had given her enuf freedom for all i noe but she was e one who dusnt noe hw to treasure her freedom.. im trying my best to pull her to the correct path but she keeps on following her frens path.. im not saying dat i have a good attitude..i myself once get into her situation and i myself noe hw she feels.. i tried my best to make her hapi and often stay at home wit family and spend our time together but she dun even tink of our family.. wen she feels like going home, she'll appear.. its been few weeks n mths i've been thru all dis and seeing my lil sis walking and following e wrong path.. i had enuf.. i cant stand this.. i cant stand luking n scolding her almost evryday.. for all i care, she's my sis and i hav e right to do all this.. rite?.. if not me hu else?.. my 1st bro are always busy wit his family.. my 2nd bro busy wit his work and he had already given up on my lil sis cos he dun even care.. my sis often work n went out wit his guy.. so its left wit me n my lil bro.. my lil bro of course cant take care of her cos he's only in primary 5 and he dusnt noe a single ting.. its only me.. but y cant she listen to me.. if she were to listen to me, it will only be carried out for 2 or 3 days.. after dat he fuc*king bad attotude cums again.. n wen dat strike her, my whole family went wild and i was e one who will get a scolding for not taking care of her and not concerning bout her.. but wad bout all those questions dat i asked her?.. wtf!!.. im doing my very best and she dun even tink of wad im feeling rite nw.. i juz had a quarrel wit her and i nagged at her.. she's becoming from bad to worse.. sumone!! pls help me!! wad shud i do.. im all tensed up and blank dwn here.. i dun wan tis to go on.. i dun wan her to be felt left out and she dusnt even have any privilege in this hse for all hu cares she likes going out and dun even bother about wad hapens to our family.. omg!.. pls help me.. i cant stand this.. y muz i always be the one hu get a scolding bout sumone else?.. everyday i shed tears bcos of a scolding whch are not related to me.. everyday i feel e frustration inmy heat bout my sis and my family.. dats it.. i cant go on.. e more i blog, e more tears keep on rolling down my cheek.. i nid help..!!

2006-09-07T20:48:00.000+08:00

halu.. juz updated my blog n change my skin which is created by my bestie dina.. using tis skin only temporary cos i hate green n i use this skin bcos of her.. ur lucky dina.. muahaha..

yesterday n today were such a plain day for me in skul.. dere's not much laughter, fun n joy cos ali was not dere.. he was sick.. n still sick.. n nw.. my head is spinning like a spinner with full speed.. i felt like shouting my head out for help but i cant cos i duno where to start shouting.. i was so weak and feeling so dead.. i nid sum happiness and madness to bring me to life back.. i nid sumone to bring me all dat.. i nid him!!..

dats it.. im lazy to blog further.. my heart says continue typing but my head says stop.. k im outz.. bubye..

2006-09-06T00:23:00.000+08:00

wei dere.. huhu lets start reporting strength aite..

today's day went absolutely well.. bought new skirt size 27.. can u believe it?.. size 27 dude!!! its 2 size bigger den my normal size.. fuh.. ali was rite.. i have to wear size 27 and it fits me.. wow!! im fat.. but not dat fat rite.. i hope so..

hmm.. went straight to class and did sum stupid survey n we girls in e class took sum pictures in class.. den played tic tac toe game wit dayah.. haha.. its cool.. ali's still sick today.. its been 3 days he's been sick.. im damn woried.. but juz nw, he said he's ok.. we laughed our heads out in the bus juz nw.. we sang stupid song and had alot of fun chatting and blabbing craps.. haha alight 4rm e bus n i went to meet my lil bro n dad to have dinner.. den, saw my old slackmates and chat a lil while wit dem while my dad chat wit his old fwen..cool huh.. den followed my dad's fwen to NTU.. it was damn fu**ing big.. wow.. haha.. great time man..

kk.. till here.. i wana sleep.. oh god!! im sick!! been coughing n having flu.. i hate dis man.. duh.. i dun wana eat panadol.. it dusnt do me good cos i wun eat.. IM SCARED OF MEDICINE.. if i were to go to a war and my enemy gave me panadols, within minutes i surrender.. muahaha..

**i set my friends on fire

~*~ e onli gerls in our class~*~

juz today

2006-09-04T16:58:00.000+08:00

halu bebeh..blogging again..
hmm..today i woke up late which is @ 8:15..my hp went off went i was asleep..its batt flat..therefore, my alarm didnt ring and i cant wake up until my siblings were toking to each other luodly then i woke up..wow..such a distraction but it was good lah i wake up cos ali was waiting for me to wake up..

went to skul and evriting hapenned as per normal..but e only thing dat was different today was that ali is sick..really sick but we still had fun and laughed alot today..after lesson finished, we went straight home..and i tot dat he'll be alighting at j.e but i was wrg..he went straight home..really straight..i was so foolish dat i didnt send him back cos he was sick..i was so stupid..i was thinking dat wad if aniting happened to him when his walking back?..he's alone at dat time..who will help him?..and if dat happens i'll blame myself for it for not taking care of him..haiz..im so sorry dear..haiyo..i hope he'll get well soon..

wana noe wad?..im feeling giddy and weak..i tink im gona be sick..omg!..i dun wan to be sick..i dun wan him to wory..okok..i tink i'll keep it from him dat im sick..dat will notmake him wory..ya..dats rite..hw clever am i..but i lied to him..oh no..nvm..as long as he's not wory and i dun trouble him..but wad if he finds out?..he wun..i tink so..haiz..im sori By..i lied to u..i had to..i dun wan to wori and trouble u..hmm..

kk..dats it for now..gota get some rest before it gets worse..bubye..blog again nex time..
toodles~

dun die but recover fast..

2006-09-04T00:43:00.000+08:00

halu..todae wasnt much fun.i went to a wedding celebration at jrg west near ali's hse..ard dere lah..it was so boring and i have to wear high heels and baju kurung..those heels dat i was using was so damn tight and uncomfortable but i have to bear wit it..the only ting dat is fun bout dat wedding is the food..the foods there were so delicious..haha i loike!..
anw, my darls is sick..really sick..he's having high fever..u see wad i mean..dats y i dun like him to work too much..haiz..i dun get too meet him today cos he's sick..i dun wan him to be out as his sickness may get worsen..i want him to recover fast not making things worse..hmm..
tmr skuling at 10..gota wake up at 8 and wake him up..anw, he bought a new game on his psp..i can play his game..woohoo..tis is fun..
dats all for now..im lazy to blog further..tata =)

2006-09-03T11:48:00.000+08:00

Its new

2006-09-02T12:10:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Im new to tis blogger. Well, it seems dat tis tingy here is now my 'online buddy'. I mean i've been writing all tragedies and stories bout my evryday life in my diary and im sick and tired of writing in it evryday. So, this is it. My new buddy here. Guez i'll say a big Hello to u dear blogger. Muahaha.

Well, where shud i start. Maybe i'll start wit introducing myself to u dear blogger. Im known wit e name of Kecik or ina. Im 16 going 17 tiz year. wow.. i felt like im old. haha.. i mean im grown up. i cant believe it. time went by so fast and i felt like im old enuf but im not dat matured or even not yet matured cos its only e number 17 of my life. i dun even get to buy my own ciggarette at e 7-11 store. im still a teenager rite..yeah a teenager..i still can enjoy my life to the fullest..

i dun understand why those kids these days like to make such a big fuss bout themselves..i mean i myself really want to stay young but dem..omg!..they r trying their best to look matured and old with all those yucks clothes and make-ups..im crious..i mean they're only below 18..u dun have to be like dat or those baby prostitutes to enjoy life or to live in dis world..bout those girls out dere..u dun have to be a matured kid to attract guys..u see..having ur natural beauty and being urself is so much attracting and fun..oh yah..btw, having ur life partner is oso not important at ur age..so beat it..dun be too flirty or acting liek you guys r sumhw sumkind of 'big sis' walking on the street..u guys r juz piece of shit following up those adults wen ur mind inside there is still a kid playing with those toys and walking on those strollers..u guys do get onmy nerves.. men or rather boys out dere..u guys r exactly the same as those baby prostitutes out dere..stop all those craps and trying to be matured kind of tinking..u guys have a lot to njoy out dere..i mean like going out playing soccer or games..its so much fun den handling girls rite..i mean u guys be hurt bcos of stupid flirty girls and fighting for girls and etc wen ur young..its not worth it u noe..u can fall in luv but onliif ur crious..u get wad i mean..yeah..so..kids out dere or fake adults out dere..GET A LIFE AITE!!!

Okie bloggy fwen..im signing out rite now..gota eat my lunch..im so dead hungry..*wink*reporting to u nex time aite..bubye..

Crapiest Luv,
Kecik

2006-09-02T12:08:00.000+08:00