ohh bloody calendars, slimy hourglass.

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Dear Vendetta, Say YES to pull the trigger. @ 10:04 AM
Dear whoever,
please bang me straight on my forehead. Headshot! Oke? Say YES to pull the trigger.

People just wont understand my inside out. Question is, do i understand them inside out? As far as im concern, i do and ive tried my very best to make it better than making it worse. Bt it seems like its not noticed bt things keep on happening. Tell me why pls? Is there a cross down there? Is it mine? Well, im talking bout rainbow skirts and sparkling blingbling heart-shaped. I just don't get it. Where do i go wrong and what have i done till we're this way. She said she missed the old us. Well, hello! What about me? Duhh!.

Things cant be the same anymore cuz surroundings and time change swity. In the past when i was doing graveyard shift you had others to accompany you and entertain you. You're never alone. Thats the reason why you dont complain. But nw, you're all alone waiting for me to come back home. Guess you're not used to it hunn.
You're just about to experience true love and sacrifices jie.
Dont judge a long-last relatnshp by words. Feel it.
It doesnt look and turned out dat bad if things went right.
Things have to change cuz its the way of living and growing from time to time.
If everything reamins the same, there's no climax in the story.
It'll be damn flat.
Learn & live.
My tips i got from someone yaww. *winks*
Ive tried my best to be there for you everyday and a.s.a.p.
I slept at work so that i can stay awake longer and be by your side.
Which also means im awake for the nexy day at work. bahh!
Cant you even think for yourself?
Cant you even see all this happening right infront or ur eyes?
Lets see when you have a job later aye.
Dammit!. Wht am i saying. NoNo.
It did happened before. Same thing when you're working.
But did i complain?. NO!.
Cuz i understand you're workling.
But indeed other shit popped up when ur nicely having a job. Wth!.
Me sparing a tot for you? Duhh! Didnt you realise?.
I rush my work stuffs, rush my way back hm just to be wit u.

Punching bag?. I dont consider my lurve ones punching bag.
I rather have the original punching bag cuz when its hit, it doesnt come back at me.
Well, it does. It did and it chipped my tooth. Lol!
Back on track.
Bt human punching bag, nahh! Kinda stupid. Drop this part lh oke. Boring.

Whtever uve noted, ive noted too. So no worries, love.
Nope. Im so not like corpse bride. Its only you who felt we're the same.
Bt indeed i guess ur wrong. She can leave her job just to satisfy you.
Bt me, nahh. Im nt dat stupid to do so.
I have my point of view to make you learn n not just to satisfy you and get whtver u want
and in the end both of us suffer. Like u say. POYOH YERH! Wtf!.

Now you're talking. You "had enuf of all this fuss & fights".
Then, you're trying to say im enjoying it?.
Hmm. Lets see whether my statement below is correct.

1. As in nw, u tynk i hd enuf of u n i dun hv d favour in u and us anymore.
2. You tynk i will always search for ur fault n make us in bad terms.
3. when we're in bad terms, you will tynk dat i do it on
purpose and in the end we broke up.
4. So key point is, you're trying to say that im searching for a
reason for us to breakup and blame you for it.

Hmm. Kinda conscious to know yeahh. If its true...
Then, this is all cocky craps!. You told me you know me very well.
So?. I wouldnt have done that just to shoo you off hunn.
I can just flick you away out of my lyfe if i really want that to happen.
Cuz i dun fucking care when i really want that.
Wth!. Urgh!!.

Since the ferst tyme ive started this job, everything seems to be my fault.
Everything seemed to be blamed on me.
Im the one who changed. Im the one who doesnt spare my time for you.
Im the one who doesnt spare a tot for you.
Its me, me, me!.
Mama-"me"-a.. Here we go again. My my. Why cant i resist you.
Have a break! Have a kit-kat!.
Ouhh!! I need that! Haha. Wth!
I guess i criously need counselling.

Ouhhh. Talking bout counselling. I have a new name for a person. Hypocrist small kiddo. Yeahh. Dats it. I have my own reason, Vendetta. Excuse me.

I guess whats wrng wit us is that we keep on pushing things to each other. Yahh. I guess so. Whatever. Im tired. When you say you will never be ready for the rest of ur lyfe, somehow im still wondering. See now, you wanting me to go if we cntinue on issues and sins. Hmm. Nothing to say. We're in deep shit i know. Rocking rock-a-by-baby? Nahh. Im still standing strong to uphold our strength in us. I guess i need your help to do so switysucka!.
STAND UP AND MAKE IT WORK BETTER DUDE. NOT WHINING NOR PUSHING!. Well, dats what ive been doing since the start. That's how i get thru all ur shits till we're this FAR. Oke monyong?
Lastly, note-to-self.
You're latest post is becoming more typical and sound so like hypocrist small kiddo.
Im striking it. intearsofsilent.blogspot.com (latest post)
Hey there fadzillah,
I know times are getting hard.
But just believe me boy.
Someday i'll pay the bills with this guitar.
We'll have it good.
We'll have the life we knew we would.
My word is good.


Friday, February 12, 2010
teenage gerls gone wild. @ 4:55 AM

oke cn. here goes. photos speaks a thousand werds. bt mine.. pretty unsure. reason why?. pretends. false pretense. i dunno why i shud be in this state and why i hv to stick my butt in other's overturned life stories when mine is nt so okay. or shud i sae never be okay. tried my best to smile and let go of evrything bt hey hey hey!. NAHH!. i often advice others n help others out bt if it strikes me, im blank n im lost. lyke i sae.. someone just help me up or hit a biggie stone upon me!. pretty pls! oke cn. lastly!! WORK IS DAMN FUCKING FUN YET FUCKING TENSED. think bout it yeahh. i leave it to u guys to put it in any way. hahh!. BULLSHIT!. i wonder, i wonder. i wonder if im still a princess warrior. wahduhh!. jatuh boii..!.. LOL!

im sorry to hear wht uve been thru wit little girl. u're just so dumb yet so low when ur in dat situation. haiya!. kinda dissapointed bt hey.. life lesson aye. im so thankful and greatful to him for making us up together. just wish for this world to stop hating and we cn make it thru. trust and faith is the way out. hope u will nvr forego things again as we dun wana end up lyke hw we used to the past few weeks. nahh ahh!. im your guardian angel and you're my sweetest cupcake happy pills!. keep on tuning for more and keep on holding a fist to hold shits beck. no i dun want to go back to yesterday. no i dont. ouhh please!. pretty please!. im so high n i wana shout my heart out hw deep n strong i love and need u every minute every second. wuahaha!. WOOHOOO!!!. i swear ur d best damn thing dat my eyes hv ever seen. for long, forever, please hold on to ur werds, temptations n promises. tis is the last time pathcing up will occur. love me like there's no tomorrow dear. ur everything to a princess warrior. YES YOU ARE!. cheers!

liitle girls just wanna hv fun. little girls wanna fit in the big girls crowd.
bt indeed they didnt know the outside world n they didnt realise that others are watching and big girls are observant enuf. most little girls wun noe whts the true meaning of lurve bt only happily-ever-after. so liitle girls are dumb to play with other ppl's feelings cuz they hv nt yet been thru full parts and parcels of wild things in life. everything now is about little girls. little girls here and little girls there. little girls just irks me when they act as if they noe wht they want in lyfe and who they really need.little girls hd extra gold medals in false pretense and crocodile tears to attract other's attention. n ouhh yahh!. LITTLE GIRLS JUST NEED EXTRA PARTNERS TO HV FUN AND MEET THEIR OWN HAPPY WILLS N SATISFACTION. one is never enuf. BIG GIRLS wun hv the wills n pleasure of doing these as they hv gone thru n seen lotsa things in the outside world. This is my prediction and practical research, LITTLE GIRLS ARE SUCH A SHAMELESS PAIN IN THE ASS WHO DONT REGARD THEIR PRIDE AS THEIR FIRST PRIORITY. So, little girls. lyke wht malays say, dun be so the "MACAM PAHAM". ur hurting tons of ppl with ur sympathy acts n crocodile tears. so yahh.. i cn be observant yet predictable bt nt too sure of the outcome. try people. come on n try observed little teenage girls. you'll be shocked to see!. ive seen tons of little girls fuckthubbed attitude hurting ppl here n dere. just so u know, never ever hv little girls as ur loved ones unless u noe wht ur doing and noe hw to. AYE??. last n for all, (little)girls just wana hv fun witout thinking n knowing of others wills n heartaches. MACAM NK KETOK KPALE KAO BDK KECIK!. LOL!.


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Friday, November 06, 2009
swim swim lyke a dolphin. @ 10:59 PM
today was gerekgerek chillchill agogo yeah yeah!.
woke up ard idk wht tyme. hahh!.
nt feeling sucky nt feeling lonely.
hahh!. MY BAEBYLAPIS was right next to me.
cuddling me in my sleep. huhu!.
woke up and get ready for swimming like as planned.
not really according to as planned cuz it was supposed to be in the morning.
bt someone out there living in taman jurong was having stomachache and headache. hahh!
kecohh sajerh lahh. buat leceh. huhu!

swimming was great fun.
played stunts and ghost scenes wit trippers.
fun! fun! fun!.
i loike!.
sygg korang bnykbnyk lahh kann!.
lagyklagyk kpade baebylapis kush!. huhu!.

nw in lan updating post.
stupid lan wit no mmc reader. stupid!.
mangkok jekk!.
tot of posting pics as well.
bt urghh!. stupid apek wit stupid attitude.
some pics taken bt out of time to post.
so sowie sajerh lahh.
we'll edit this post soon aites.

ouh well..


hapy as ever. maniac as in forever. @ 10:26 PM
hey hey ho ho!. as per normal, back for updates yaw.
yesterday was kinda a hit bt turn out bored in the end.
It was a sucky feeling for a start of the day.
Felt lonely as soon as i woke up.
Well, u know why. Hmm.
Met my baeby spycam and eiratating then proceed to LAN.
Then met "ex-baebylapis" and shawneybob at court to get cranky.
Oh well, that was the plan of the day. get cranky.
My heart was beating so fast as soon as we get closer n closer to court.
I was like... "Ouh my gosh!. hw am i supposed to face her?. will i drop a tear?. will i be able to act as per normal?"
I tried my very best. Hahh!. Bt.. nahh.. forget it yaww.
Get those thingy and there it goes dwn my throat.
Cipacai-cipacai-pop-pop-pop-pop !
There they go making my head go boom boom pow!
Lol!. Those stupid thingy was so hell damn MASAI!.
i didnt feel any kick at all u see!. dammit!.
things didnt go as planned. dammit!
Soon after, went to nti to pick up irahgiant's idk who lil kiddy frm school.
there she go trying to take care of me here and there cuz it was raining afterall.
SYIOKK!!. felt the "urghh! ouh-so-sweet" in us.
tears started to roll down my cheek as soon as she covered me frm the rain.
bt im nt sure if she realised it anot. hmm. beta not yeahh. hahh!.
flashback striked me. stupid!
rinathekental, keciqqefreakko, shawneybob, irahgiant & irakeneto.
all were tripping and were in our own world. hmm. gayreks!.
conversation held between us and solutions here and there starting to pop out.
talking, talking, talking. blab, blab, blab.
and.... jeng jeng jeng!!!
WE'RE BACK AS ONE!!!!. woohoo!!!!!...
for you;
we're back as one. we're back as per normal.
i hope you're coming back for good.
i hope you meant every single word you spout out yesterday.
im scared. ohh yes! im still scared.
bt the confidence and trust i hv in u makes me hold on and wanting to love you more.
you're everything to me even if ur the worst smelliest trash ever.
you're sweetest and most bitter thing that ever happened to me.
i lurve you and i will always do.
i cant resist you.
you're the sex baeby.
im still waiting for your world to stop hating.


Thursday, November 05, 2009
for you. @ 2:44 PM

romance days are over.
its me just me n myself n i.
things been messed up lately.
whose to blame?.
isit me, isit her, or isit time?.
ive been feeling lonely, cocked up and sadden thinking bout us.
those precious mmnts of our life.
those heartaches we shared.
those tears we wiped off together.
im tearing apart slowly.
damn slowly.

i know its hard for you and its never easy either for me.
for all i care, my lurve for you will always be infinty.

here's something for you;

ive read your post and ive been trying hard to hold up my tears.
i dun wane brag about it.
i dun wane whine about it.
i dun wane think bout it.
i know ive been trying too hard to get back at ya.
but as in now, i cant take it any longer.
hw i wish nuting lyke dis will happen.
but unfortunately, its already happened n we cant overdo it.

i miss us.
i really do.
if ever you feel lyke coming back...
if ever you feel lyke coming back i will open my arms widely for you.
nt to the new you bt of course to the old you.
i miss you.
i miss our lurve.
i want you to hold me tight and feel my heart thumping so fast.
thumping so fast that im scared to let you go.
but these words are so meaningless.

we're done so done.


Monday, October 19, 2009
bored wit thin moments. @ 11:42 PM
im bored with endless slacking days wit jobless mnths.
im tired wit nags and time wasting moments witout boify.
i really do.
birthday session with eka n fwens was an okeoke tingy.
didnt really blast me.
bt i do get tipsy.
a lil fun fun fun!.
boify was confessing everything to me.
she's lost.
well baeby, i hv my own reasons why.
sometymes you dun understand bt one day u will. hmm.
i guess my november plans just wun work out.
haish!. sowie baebylapis!.
but i gues it will one fine day.
i will still make it happen for my baebylapis!. lol!
after confession, everything kinda went well.
bt there are still some errors here and there. hmm.
well, you cant expect a cat turn into a tiger in a split seconds ryte?.
i hv my biggest worry ryte nw.
sumhw i felt lyke im turning into someone who i myself dunno who i am.
ijust dun want myself to get too carried away by my cold attitude towards somebody.
i dun wane be a witch.
i wane be a princess warrior.
i still wane be a princess warrior.
goshh!. i dun wane lose someone's (whom i love sho much) attention and care by me being a witch.
i wanna wanna wanna wanna be a PRINCESS WARRIORRRR!...
only my baebyLAPIS cn help me. bt ermmm... i'll think bout it to talk bout it wit her.
ohh so irritating! @ 11:25 PM
oke oryte.
some people just dun understand and realise hw irritating n annoying they cn be when they start to act globey-world talker.
some people just dun understand and realise hw rude and in deep shit they cn be when they start to say this; "wansuay".
some people just dun understand and realise hw foolish they cn get to mess up wit somebody hu dusnt really entertain shits.
well, i myself dun understand them.
i myself dun understand their motive.
are they lack of attention or they're trying to tell others that
" im the one. i own the world. nobody cn drop me dwn. everyone must respect me".
are those points really matter to them?.
i just dun get it.
anyway, this is what happened.
a 15 year old fat kid tried her very best to be on top of people who are way much much more older than her.
she's trying her very fucking best to threaten them.
unfortunately, those people really think that she's making a fool out of herself.
in the end, people do really think she's just a baeby crying out for rotten breast milk.
serious. really. no joke. haha!
goshh!. she must be kidding me.
so youths. learn from this scene.
dun try so hard to be the best or should i say get so FANATIC and try threatening others when u know u urself are such a coward.
you guys just about to learn the outside and wild world.
so yahh, better nt aye.
im worried fo ur future and self-confidence. LOL!.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009
@ 1:12 AM
okayh baybeh. back to blog.
damn thnks so much to fate that we're back as per normal.
talk things out and ermm...
lyke crybaby lahh.
too much things vroom vroom.... in my head.
damn sucky lahh yesterday. cut it short lahh kan.
well, yesterday went to watch seroja at bb.
average performance but buntal was cute. haha!
wonder hw i luk lyke wen i was in her shoes last time. haha!
kecohh dohh!
bt thrilling part was when the guy gt the wrng thing in hys body.
lauhed lyke ponti ponti. fuhh!.
thrilling wrabak!
ternae segale gale bulu bulu yg aderh.
gt a job lahh sey bt!
bt too bad starts in dec.
buat maserh ny mkn pasir sajerh lahh sayerh. haha!!.
DAMN FUCKING HEPY! i dont know why. hees!
*pijakpijak gigi kamuh!. hehe!.*
Sunday, October 11, 2009
plain life shits, @ 1:05 AM
hey fucktards!.
blogger blogging signing in to blog blog blog.
thngs were alot haywire n cocked up.
can someone help me up?.
im drowning like a fat man wit a big hairy belly trying to stand up.
ive been wishing to live like a pony.
can it happen?. im so wishing for it.
i wouldnt say life sucks cause life make me realise rights and wrongs.
of course, ups n dwns will always happen.
its like for a moment ur a princess and the next ur a trashbag. right?.
well, i think so too.
if i say life sucks it wud be back on me cuz im the one hu choose my life to be sucky. haha.
too many things caught up my mind for nw.
bt hey, no werries.
i wun kill myself.
but just a tot of it. urmm... killing myself.
well, all i need is peace and food. no quiet.
things coming round and round and round again.
be it family, boify, work n everything.
turns out evrything is the same.
now i nyd a huge kitkat,
letting off my fylings here wun do any difference.
this just apiece of shit whrby ppl read n entertain themselves for few minutes.
bt den, cn they help?. ohh hell yeahh!. fuckoofff!.
im on my own.
i shout out loud at the tip of my lung.
cn u hear me?.
im venting out my anger till my eyeballs popped out.
can you see me?.
keeping tings in my heart for so long.
being patient for so long,
all i get is ttttiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuKABUSHHHH........ SHITSS!
trying very hard to get an A for life endurance.
but seems getting further n further.
was it me?.
was it her?.
i dont know what to do.
i dont know what i should do.
too many tings popped in my mind in a split second fuck!.
no more tears for me but for you.
no more me n u than together.
no more happy than overexcited.
i duno wht im saying but all i know.
im d most homewrecked girl of the month.
i miss everything from lastyear.
hw i could bring my younger siblings to watch their future life if they continue wit their stupid life.
hw could i turn my family into the best palace ive ever stepped in.
hw could i be the one who gets peace, joy and accessibility.
just that.
too much yet too little strength and hope.